IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world.

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In contemporary society, there are a lot of products which are found anywhere in the country
such
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 as broadcasts, advertisements, or shopping centres as citizens who are different nationalities can have the same products.
Therefore
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, because people can afford the same merchandise, the countries are becoming more and more similar.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides of the controversial issue, and my opinion will be provided. On the one hand, there are several reasons that It can be useful if people around the world buy similar goods. It is obvious that there are the same stuff in nations which allow people to have easy access to what they need.
For example
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, especially tourists, can afford it and gain familiarity, which makes it possible to increase standards of living.
Moreover
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, individuals no longer have to waste their money buying something from other regions.
On the other hand
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, despite the many advantages of
this
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 idea, there are a number of negative aspects that cannot be ignored. There is no denying that transporting goods from one country to another can lead to environmental issues.
This
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 is because most vehicles
such
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 as ships , aeroplanes, and trucks cause many troubles like global warming, air pollution, and greenhouse gas;
for
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this
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 reason, these damage wildlife habitats and health problems. In conclusion, in my view, it is true that the accessibility of goods may seem advantageous.
However
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, in my perspective, it
also
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 brings about negative effects on the environment and creatures.

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that you structure your essay in a clear, logical manner. Your introduction should clearly state the topic and your position, which you did somewhat effectively. However, the main points in the body paragraphs should be clearly distinct, with appropriate paragraphing and use of cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases. Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and flow.
task achievement
Given the essay task, your response should fully address all parts of the prompt. You discussed the topic, yet the essay lacks depth and more specific examples to illustrate your points. To achieve a higher score in Task Achievement, you must present well-developed arguments and offer relevant, detailed examples that support your points. Ensure your conclusion summarises the main points and relates to the prompt's discussion rather than introducing new ideas.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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