IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#attention #prevalence #media
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Nowadays, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 use the smartphone.
Hence
Linking Words
, they spend
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
time
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to watch
Change the verb form
watching
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
useing
Correct your spelling
using
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their smartphone. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that numerous
people
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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short
attention
Use synonyms
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 is increasing. I strongly believe that
people
Use synonyms
's short
attention
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 reason
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
's short
Use synonyms
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
. On the
hand
Correct word choice
other hand
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,
when
Rephrase
apply
show examples
social
media
Use synonyms
 services
do
Wrong verb form
did
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 not exist in the past. Some
people
Use synonyms
 who have a short
time
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
attention
Change preposition
of attention
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 heard that "you need more reading the newspaper" or "you need to
decreas
Correct your spelling
decrease
Use synonyms
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 to watching TV". their short
attention
Use synonyms
 reason was not
social
Change preposition
on social
show examples
media
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, recently,social
media
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
 is more and more shorter.If the
contents
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 long, They can not wait
end
Add an article
the end
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 of
Use synonyms
contents
Correct article usage
the contents
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. they would watch more
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
show examples
 or part skip.
People
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 adapted the social
media
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
contents
Change the noun form
content
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 pattern.
As a result
Linking Words
, they would not
keep
Verb problem
pay
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attention
Use synonyms
. When they study or work too.
Also
Linking Words
, recently, social
media
Use synonyms
 service has advanced technical
funtions
Correct your spelling
functions
.
For example
Linking Words
, they give the information
that is
Linking Words
 long news articles reduced to short point articles using AI and long video
contents
Use synonyms
 reduced short point videos using IA too.
As a result
Linking Words
, they
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 shorter
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
attention
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, despite when
people
Use synonyms
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 not have
sociale
Correct your spelling
social
media
Use synonyms
 in the past,
people
Use synonyms
 who are have
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
short
Correct word choice
shorter
show examples
attention
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 than other
people
Use synonyms
. I pratly agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
Use synonyms
effect
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's
attention
Use synonyms
. Recently, their
time
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
limit
Wrong verb form
limited
show examples
. But, they want to watch
contens
Correct your spelling
content
contents
 are more and
moren
Correct your spelling
more
 increasing. They will watch faster the
contents
Use synonyms
 than now.
Submitted by moneekun on

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coherence cohesion
Please pay attention to the structure and organization of your essay to ensure a logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task and provide more specific examples to support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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