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Band 4

Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#attention #prevalence #media
Nowadays, a lot of
people
 use the smartphone.
Hence
, they spend
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
time
to watch
Change the verb form
watching
show examples
 social
media
useing
Correct your spelling
using
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their smartphone. Some
people
 argue that numerous
people
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
short
attention
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
 social
media
time
 is increasing. I strongly believe that
people
's short
attention
time
 reason
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 social
media
's short
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
. On the
hand
Correct word choice
other hand
show examples
,
when
Rephrase
apply
show examples
social
media
 services
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 not exist in the past. Some
people
 who have a short
time
attention
Change preposition
of attention
show examples
 heard that "you need more reading the newspaper" or "you need to
decreas
Correct your spelling
decrease
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 to watching TV". their short
attention
 reason was not
social
Change preposition
on social
show examples
media
.
On the other hand
, recently,social
media
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
 is more and more shorter.If the
contents
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 long, They can not wait
end
Add an article
the end
show examples
 of
contents
Correct article usage
the contents
show examples
. they would watch more
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
show examples
 or part skip.
People
 adapted the social
media
contents
Change the noun form
content
show examples
 pattern.
As a result
, they would not
keep
Verb problem
pay
show examples
attention
. When they study or work too.
Also
, recently, social
media
 service has advanced technical
funtions
Correct your spelling
functions
.
For example
, they give the information
that is
 long news articles reduced to short point articles using AI and long video
contents
 reduced short point videos using IA too.
As a result
, they
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 shorter
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
attention
time
. In conclusion, despite when
people
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 not have
sociale
Correct your spelling
social
media
 in the past,
people
 who are have
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
short
Correct word choice
shorter
show examples
attention
time
 than other
people
. I pratly agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
effect
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
's
attention
. Recently, their
time
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
limit
Wrong verb form
limited
show examples
. But, they want to watch
contens
Correct your spelling
content
contents
 are more and
moren
Correct your spelling
more
 increasing. They will watch faster the
contents
 than now.
Submitted by moneekun on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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