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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many workplaces, online communication is getting more common than meeting face to face. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

It is widely recognised that online
communication
Use synonyms
 has become increasingly common in modern society.
While
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this
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 form of interaction has both advantages and disadvantages, I believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, online
communication
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 offers numerous advantages in everyday life.
Firstly
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, it greatly improves the speed and efficiency of information exchange.
For example
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, sending a text message is often more convenient than trying to find a suitable time for a phone call or face-to-face meeting.
In addition
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, online platforms allow people to organise meetings remotely, eliminating the need to travel to a specific location.
This
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 is particularly beneficial in the business world, where virtual meetings enable employees to participate from different places, saving both time and resources.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 some disadvantages associated with online
communication
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. Virtual meetings usually involve the use of cameras and microphones, yet many participants choose to keep their cameras off.
This
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 can reduce engagement and lead to weaker social connections over time.
For instance
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, during the pandemic, many students attended online classes without turning on their cameras, which sometimes resulted in feelings of isolation and decreased confidence.
Furthermore
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, heavy reliance on online
communication
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 may cause people to avoid face-to-face interaction, potentially affecting their social skills and mental well-being. In conclusion,
although
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 online
communication
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 has certain negative aspects, its advantages — particularly convenience and efficiency — make it an essential part of modern life.
Nevertheless
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, it is important to maintain a balance and continue engaging in direct human interaction.

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strength
The essay has a clear view and good plan. It answers the task and keeps the main idea in each part.
improvement
Add more work life proof. Give clear lines for how online talk can help or harm in real work. A few better facts or small data help.
improvement
Use more link words to tie ideas. This helps flow. E.g., also, but, however, yet, in fact.
structure
Clear view and tidy plan.
content
Good use of example from the pandemic to back points.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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