It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #children #history #world

It is true that

children

are forced to

study

both local and world

history

This

essay will explain why I totally agree that

children

just need to

study

their nation's

history

Admittedly, there is good reason to say that

children

do not need to

study

history

from all over the world.

To begin

with, studying too much knowledge may be senseless.

For instance

children

who do not tend to

study

or go abroad may find

this

information

unnecessary. They do not need to use them,

therefore

, they do not need to put resources into learning them.

Moreover

, they

study

worldwide

history

just to attain better academic results and be a high-performing student.

However

this

knowledge does not help them to have a sense of job security at a later stage of life

In addition

, there is

also

a compelling reason to say that it is adequate for

children

to learn about their own countries'

history

. First and foremost, students may struggle to remember all the knowledge. They can not summon up all

this

information

thus

those ones will leave people unable to find interest in studying

history

. To illustrate, Vietnamese students may not feel Japanese

history

is fascinating. They may find it difficult to memorize the Japanese government's names and even their special occasions. Local

history

will be more familiar than

history

from all over the world.

Consequently

, it will make them dredge up

information

easier than ever In conclusion, students are coerced to learn worldwide

history

Nevertheless

, it is too much for them to

study

due to

its wide

information

Submitted by chi on Thu Sep 07 2023

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Task Response

Task Response: The essay does not fully address the prompt and does not provide a balanced view. The writer needs to consider both sides of the argument and present a clear opinion with supporting points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are not effectively supported with relevant examples and there is a lack of logical progression of ideas. The writer should focus on organizing ideas coherently and using cohesive devices to link ideas together.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Politicians’ private lives should not be printed in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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