It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is true that
children
are forced to study
both local and world history
. This
essay will explain why I totally agree that children
just need to study
their nation's history
Admittedly, there is good reason to say that children
do not need to study
history
from all over the world. To begin
with, studying too much knowledge may be senseless. For instance
, children
who do not tend to study
or go abroad may find this
information
unnecessary. They do not need to use them, therefore
, they do not need to put resources into learning them. Moreover
, they study
worldwide history
just to attain better academic results and be a high-performing student. However
, this
knowledge does not help them to have a sense of job security at a later stage of life
In addition
, there is also
a compelling reason to say that it is adequate for children
to learn about their own countries' history
. First and foremost, students may struggle to remember all the knowledge. They can not summon up all this
information
thus
those ones will leave people unable to find interest in studying history
. To illustrate, Vietnamese students may not feel Japanese history
is fascinating. They may find it difficult to memorize the Japanese government's names and even their special occasions. Local history
will be more familiar than history
from all over the world. Consequently
, it will make them dredge up information
easier than ever
In conclusion, students are coerced to learn worldwide history
. Nevertheless
, it is too much for them to study
due to
its wide information
Submitted by chi on
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Task Response
Task Response: The essay does not fully address the prompt and does not provide a balanced view. The writer needs to consider both sides of the argument and present a clear opinion with supporting points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are not effectively supported with relevant examples and there is a lack of logical progression of ideas. The writer should focus on organizing ideas coherently and using cohesive devices to link ideas together.