It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is true that

children

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are forced to

study

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both local and world

history

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This

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essay will explain why I totally agree that

children

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just need to

study

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their nation's

history

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Admittedly, there is good reason to say that

children

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do not need to

study

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history

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from all over the world.

To begin

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with, studying too much knowledge may be senseless.

For instance

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children

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who do not tend to

study

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or go abroad may find

this

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information

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unnecessary. They do not need to use them,

therefore

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, they do not need to put resources into learning them.

Moreover

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, they

study

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worldwide

history

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just to attain better academic results and be a high-performing student.

However

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this

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knowledge does not help them to have a sense of job security at a later stage of life

In addition

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, there is

also

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a compelling reason to say that it is adequate for

children

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to learn about their own countries'

history

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. First and foremost, students may struggle to remember all the knowledge. They can not summon up all

this

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information

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thus

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those ones will leave people unable to find interest in studying

history

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. To illustrate, Vietnamese students may not feel Japanese

history

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is fascinating. They may find it difficult to memorize the Japanese government's names and even their special occasions. Local

history

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will be more familiar than

history

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from all over the world.

Consequently

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, it will make them dredge up

information

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easier than ever In conclusion, students are coerced to learn worldwide

history

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Nevertheless

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, it is too much for them to

study

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due to

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its wide

information

Use synonyms

chiThu Sep 07 2023

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Task Response

Task Response: The essay does not fully address the prompt and does not provide a balanced view. The writer needs to consider both sides of the argument and present a clear opinion with supporting points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are not effectively supported with relevant examples and there is a lack of logical progression of ideas. The writer should focus on organizing ideas coherently and using cohesive devices to link ideas together.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowlede or experience.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Public transportation is a great way to travel, particularly within a metropolis. The metro is the most convenient way to get around a city. Do you agree or disagree?

Learning to manage money is one of the key aspects of adult life. How in your view can individuals best learn to manage their money? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowl experience.