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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, some parents pressure their children to be successful in a specific field. What are the reasons for this? Is it negative or positive?

#parents #pressure #children #field
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Today, programs related to science and technology are most
adapted
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adopted
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 by students. Many
parents
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 force their kids to choose their
Use synonyms
career
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careers
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 based on these subjects.
This
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 essay will discuss how better opportunities and great pay
rate
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rates
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 are influencing people to choose these streams and I believe that it is a negative
development
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. The major
reasons
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reason
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 why guardians want their
children
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 to get success in a particular field like science and Information technology is because these fields offer great benefits.
Firstly
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, a person gets numerous options where he or she can choose the job which he or she is most intrigued. If a student
graduate
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graduates
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Change preposition
from in
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in
Correct your spelling
an
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 Information Technology
programs
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program
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,
for instance
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, can work in software or web
development
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 or cybersecurity and many more.
Secondly
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, these fields pay more than
minimum
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the minimum
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 pay grade to a fresher, which means in
initial
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the initial
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 years of
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career
Add an article
a career
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 that individual is earning more than what other sectors are offering to their inexperienced freshman, leading
,
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to, higher
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higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 probability of satisfaction in
job
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the job
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. Clearly, people decide their
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career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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 on the basis of opportunities and
wage
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wages
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, so
parents
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pressurize
Verb problem
pressure
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 their kids to succeed in those fields which mostly offer these two things. In my opinion,
this
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 is a negative
development
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 because forcing
children
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 to grow in that field which is their
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parents
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parent's
parents'
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 choice is
truely
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truly
 unfair. To explain
further
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, everyone has different interests which an individual wants to
persue
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pursue
 in his life.
However
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, if
parents
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 start to decide about their
children
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's
career
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,
then
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 there will be
high
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a high
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chances
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chance
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 that a child does not want to develop his interest in that field, resulting
,
Change preposition
in, waste
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waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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 of precious time of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
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children
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,
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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unsatisfaction
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dissatisfaction
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in
Change preposition
with
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job
Correct pronoun usage
his job
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 and life. In conclusion,
this
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 essay discussed how pay
grade
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grades
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 and
opportunites
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opportunities
 are the major reasons
which are
Verb problem
that
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influencing
Wrong verb form
influence
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parents
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 to force their kids to grow in a specific sector. I feel that
this
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development
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 does not work in the favour of
children
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 as they do not get a chance to decide the
career
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 they want to
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
 in their lives.
Submitted by akankasha980 on

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