Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which view point do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answers

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The
adverts
have a crucial role in business sectors. A large number of individuals believe that advertising stimulates
people
to purchase
products
even if they do not
use
them,
whereas
others consider that ads explain the new product details that update our day-to-day
lives
. I strongly agree with the former opinion because it causes the younger generations to become long-term debtors. On the one hand,
advertisements
update
people
's
lives
tremendously because every day numerous new
products
are launched in the market and
people
have to understand everything about the
products
through ads
such
as how to
use
them, what benefits it has and everything, especially new technology devices.
For example
, smartphones have many advanced features, so folks have a chance to learn how to
use
them by
adverts
for individuals can
use
the new technological devices.
Hence
,
advertisements
improve
people
's
lives
rapidly.
On the other hand
, individuals buy unwanted things through
advertisements
because it stimulates them to purchase frequently.
Consequently
, many mankind suffer the financial problems. To clarify, the youth folks like to buy a plethora of
products
to expose they are rich persons to others as prestige, so they borrow debts from banks, financial offices and close circles.
For instance
, Indonesian adults purchase a new branded car through vehicle loans in banks which is a long-term loan but they cannot return pay
this
loan
due to
their salary being a minimum amount.
This
can lead to the younger generations becoming long-term debtors.
Therefore
,
adverts
provoke to folks buy unwanted
products
.
To conclude
,
although
advertisements
tell all the information about a particular product, especially new technological devices how used in
people
's
lives
every day,
people
buy unwanted things through ads die to they want to show their prestige to others.
Therefore
, I strongly agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
adverts
can lead to adults as long-term debtors.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear logical structure by introducing each paragraph with a topic sentence that is followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence. Maintain the flow between ideas with appropriate linking words.
coherence cohesion
In the introduction and conclusion, restate the essay topic and clearly state your position. Make sure your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific, relevant examples, and details. Make sure to fully develop each point with adequate evidence that enhances the argument you are trying to make.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully responds to all parts of the task. Clearly present your viewpoint and expand on it with comprehensive ideas and examples throughout your response.
task achievement
When presenting your ideas, clarity and comprehension are crucial. Aim to express your thoughts in a way that is easy for the reader to understand. Avoid overly complex sentence structures that may confuse the reader and detract from the clarity of your argument.
task achievement
Use relevant examples to support your argument, making sure that they are specific and effectively illustrate your points. Examples should be well-integrated into your discussion and contribute to a deeper understanding of your viewpoint.
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