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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions

#childhood #obesity #countries #effects
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There is no doubt that the issue of obesity in youngsters is escalating at an alarming rate.
This
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 issue has detrimental consequences.
Although
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 a number of reasons are there yet some sensible solutions are
also
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 available to curb
this
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 grave concern.
To begin
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 with the causes and results, the consumption of fast
food
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 and a lack of physical activities are two main reasons for increased
body
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 fat in children because ,in
this
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 era of modern technology, technical devices are a source of attraction to juveniles.
Moreover
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, in
this
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 busy life parents do not have time to cook
food
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 at home
therefore
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, frozen and fast
food
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 is given to children which leads to increased
body
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 fat. To illustrate,
according to
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 a survey ,conducted in metropolitan cities. it was proved that processed
food
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 consumption is the main reason for health-related issues.
Thus
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, an unhealthy
body
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 leads to various diseases ,
for instance
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, heart attack, breathing issues etcetera.
In addition
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, stress could be another drawback as some kids become victims of
body
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 shaming at an early life stage.
Hence
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, physical exercise and a healthy diet are necessary to maintain a healthy
body
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. Moving toward the solutions, enrollment of people in games could be a difference-making initiative towards a healthy lifestyle as well limiting the use of gadgets should be necessary in households.
Additionally
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, basic cooking skills should be taught to youngsters so that
instead
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 of eating oily
food
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 they can make some healthy salads at home which will result in a well-maintained
body
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 weight.Teaching the importance of a healthy diet could be a good step as well because
this
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 would motivate kids to avoid unhealthy
food
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.
To conclude
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, undoubtedly it is the responsibility of parents to make sure that their kids are fit and healthy but schools should
also
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 take some initiative in order to make life easy and sound for students.
Submitted by gill.g24 on

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task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the question, including causes, effects, and solutions. Develop each point with specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing the ideas in a more coherent manner. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main idea of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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