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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some parents allow their children to play on electronic devices such as computers and smartphones as they think it is important for the learning of technological skills. Other parents prohibit their children from using these electronic devices. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In the era of globalisation and modern technologies
parents
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 do not mind when
children
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 play
games
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 on smartphones, but some
parents
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 do not give phones for playing
games
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, I would say that in both cases there are plusses.
Firstly
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, nowadays a lot of
children
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 play
video
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games
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. But by playing some
children
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 can expand their worldview.
This
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 means that
children
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 will learn, and study new things by playing. For example, research usa.net shows that
children
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 who play a lot, know more information than play less
children
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.
Furthermore
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, these kinds of
children
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 can easily adapt to new environments.
Consequently
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 to some extent playing
video
Use synonyms
games
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 is good.
Secondly
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, some
parents
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 forbid playing
video
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games
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 for their
children
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. Because
video
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games
Use synonyms
 will clog up the brain. And the brain will never let it out or forget it again.
According to
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 the statistics of 2022
children
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 who read more books, learnt new words, in one word developed. So that
children
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 were more clever, and more creative than
children
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 who played.
Therefore
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,
parents
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 should not give smartphones for playing. It is clearly seen here are two opinions. Personally, in my opinion, the second view is better.
Furthermore
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, more useful.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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