One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development

These days, there are few people who believe that

due to

the presence of modern-era health care , facility deaths have decreased considerably and human lives are extended.

This

essay will cover both views in detail. In my opinion, the pros definitely outweigh the cons

due to

the fact that it makes a plethora of options available

such

as access to ancient knowledge and living with loved ones.

To begin

with,

firstly

, the significant merit of

this

is, that it aids us in tapping the knowledge of the greatest discoveries which have gone extinct unfortunately.

Secondly

, scientists and inventors

due to

the fact of have longer life can accomplish their research.

For instance

, Telsa who initiated the invention of wireless electricity was almost on the verge of finishing it.

However

due to

his ,

illness

Add a comma

illness,

show examples

he could not finish it .It could have been a boon to the present generation. So, it would be beneficial if age can be increased.

On the other hand

, the foremost demerit of

this

is competition in various things like food, space and opportunities. Hereafter, there are famines already occurring around the world

due to

the existing pollution by means of generating greenhouse gases through a variety of methodologies and the excess humanity would only make it worse. To illustrate it, China which has people living longer have turned out to be a burden to their society as they would require extreme care in terms of medication.

Furthermore

this

only resulted in higher expenses and did not yield any benefits for them.

Thus

, making their economy worse. In conclusion,

subsequently

Add a comma

subsequently,

show examples

there are multiple advantages of good treatments by various means. When planned with efficient strategies

this

could actually pave the path for the betterment of communities.

Submitted by melmurihashir on Fri Sep 08 2023

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Task Achievement

The essay addresses the given prompt and provides a balanced view of the topic. However, it would benefit from providing a stronger emphasis on the advantages and disadvantages of increased life expectancy.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay demonstrates a logical structure, with separate paragraphs discussing the advantages and disadvantages of increased life expectancy. However, the organization of ideas within each paragraph could be improved for clearer coherence and cohesion.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
elderly population
health care systems
pension funds
extended family relationships
quality of life
aging population
economic growth
volunteer work
expertise
financial planning
retirement
age-related diseases
medical research
healthier lifestyles

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

With traffic jams and pollution increasing every year in big cities, some people say that public transport should be free in big cities to help reduce these problems which are caused by cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people are very strict about their school uniforms and the apprearance of their pupils, while other schools have a relaxed dress cod

The number of indigenous tribes living traditional lives in the world’s rainforests is decreasing. Within a few decades the last of these indigenous tribes may have disappeared forever. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to prevent it from happening?

Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can be considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

It is suggested that all young people should undertake a period of unpaid work to help people in the community. Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks to the community and the young people ?