It is a common aspiration among many young people to run their own business,rather than work for an employer.Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks

#aspiration #people #business #work #employer

Earlier people used to prefer to work for an organization throughout their lives and retired from after lifetime service. These days, many youngster's aim is to leave their universities and set up their own

business

. I completely agree with

this

point of view, but it is important to bear in mind that

business

does not suit everybody. First of all, there are many benefits of having a

business

over working for someone else. For me, the main factor is that you have room for creativity.

Instead

of having to follow your employer's decision, you can take the decision and set goals for the

business

yourself, which means that are more in control and feel free.

Secondly

, they can gain precious skills that can never learn as an employee.

For instance

, the entrepreneur can not only enhance their

business

-related skills but

also

they can improve their communication through successful people.

In addition

, they use the advice which is heard from the celebrities. Not only that but, you can

also

keep the profit from the

business

but it can not happen when you work for someone else. If you make the right decisions, you can gain more fruitful results.

For example

, if you start your own graphic design company and you have a good reputation, you will be able to make a substantial profit.

Therefore

, you will work hard in order to make a successful company.

Although

, having said before that running a

business

is risky. When you open a

business

, you can face obstacles

such

as managing the income

as well as

outcomes.

Moreover

, if you make mistakes in

business

and make wrong decisions

then

the company goes bust and you have to lay off the staff.

To sum up

, there are both advantages and disadvantages to running a

business

. I believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

However

, I have to admit that

business

is a risk-taker and it is not all individuals.

Submitted by hirasattar7 on Fri Sep 08 2023

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task response

Ensure that all main points are clearly and comprehensively addressed with relevant examples. Include a stronger introduction and conclusion to frame the essay effectively.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is evident, but the introduction and conclusion need to be more effective in setting the context and summarizing the main points. Work on connecting ideas and points more effectively throughout the essay to improve coherence and cohesion.

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

323 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

aspiration
entrepreneur
flexibility
decision-making
financial rewards
personal fulfillment
challenges
financial risk
invested capital
cash flow
guaranteed income
work-life balance
responsibility
pressure
burnout

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It is a common aspiration among many young people to run their own business,rather than work for an employer.Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks

Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

There is a greater age difference between parents and children now than in the past, do you think it has more disadvantages than advantages. To wat extent do you agree

Some people think that it is a waste of money for countries to host big sporting events like the world cup and that the money would be better spent on other things. However, others think that hosting large sporting events has a clear, positive impact on a country.