Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
More and more
people
Use synonyms
have agreed that youngsters should be volunteers when they have free time.
This
Linking Words
is because the volunteering services are advantageous to the
community
Use synonyms
and themselves. I totally support
this
Linking Words
point of view.
This
Linking Words
is because a great number of seasoned
people
Use synonyms
said that society is another school, and
people
Use synonyms
would learn various knowledge and gain numerous experiences from it.
Hence
Linking Words
, being volunteers near living areas is a priceless chance for youngsters to experience entering society.
For example
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
they are in the volunteering services, they spend time socialising with the local crowd and dealing with common problems, which they might never had a chance to do.
Besides
Linking Words
, when young ones put effort into unpaid
community
Use synonyms
work, spending days and giving labour effort. They would feel fulfilled and grateful for their own growth.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they possibly start to have different views of valuable
life
Use synonyms
and have the motivation to change their current living styles.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some adults probably consider that teens should be more practical to chase a better material
life
Use synonyms
in the future.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they should spend a great proportion of their day on academic learning or intern positions
instead
Linking Words
of unpaid work.
However
Linking Words
, if
that is
Linking Words
the case, young ones would not have opportunities to learn the idea, “Giving is a crucial and priceless behaviour in
people
Use synonyms
’s
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.”
Moreover
Linking Words
, in recent years, the young generation has been used to communicating in the virtual world, and they tend to interact with peers on social media
such
Linking Words
as Instagram and TikTok. It will decrease the moment they face
people
Use synonyms
in person and have an actual talk with a real person. Teens might become introverts and avoid themselves from crews.
In contrast
Linking Words
, walking into the compound and helping the
community
Use synonyms
will convert
this
Linking Words
consequence. They will have time to get close to the crowd and their lives. In conclusion, I believe that it is a crucial chance for youngsters to participate in
community
Use synonyms
services. Teens could learn whole new
life
Use synonyms
experiences throughout the service and the local
people
Use synonyms
would be helped by these young souls.
Submitted by phoebejanzi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly address the prompt and the main points of the essay. Provide a stronger introduction and conclusion that directly address the topic and emphasize your stance on the issue.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your main points. Expand on the examples provided to create a more comprehensive and detailed argument.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas. Expand your vocabulary to create a more varied and precise expression of thoughts and concepts.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Work on using a variety of sentence structures, and ensure consistent and accurate use of grammar throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: