The government and individuals are spending too much money on national celebrations like New Year or festivals. Do you agree or disagree?

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We are dependent on social heritage, which is a mixture of customs, traditions, moral values, attitudes,

festivals

Use synonyms

, folklore, beliefs and ideas not only

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

us who we are but

binds

Correct subject-verb agreement

bind

show examples

us to pass it on from one generation to another.

Festivals

Use synonyms

act like stress relievers and help us balance our emotions. More positivity naturally lowers negativity. It

also

Linking Words

provides an opportunity to reduce friction and brings estranged friends and relatives together in a bond of love.

Moreover

Linking Words

, nothing brings people together as

festivals

Use synonyms

do. They play a pivotal role in nation-building; bringing people from every religious, economic and social background together. I do agree that

festivals

Use synonyms

are an expressive way to celebrate glorious heritage, culture and traditions. When it comes to Pakistan it becomes very true because if look into the

statistic

Fix the agreement mistake

statistics

show examples

we will find out that Pakistanis spend billions of dollars on their national, religious and cultural

days

Change the noun form

day

show examples

celebrations

Use synonyms

. Just one

last

Linking Words

,year’s Independence

Day

Use synonyms

celebrations

Use synonyms

sales fetch up to 25 billion rupees and sales in the holy month of Ramadan meet the average rate of 250 billion rupees. Same as we spend trillions of rupees on special events like three Eids, Independence

Day

Use synonyms

, Defense

Day

Use synonyms

, Resolution

Day

Use synonyms

and many other events. Despite all these facts the outcome which we get

at the end

Linking Words

of these

celebrations

Use synonyms

which are unity, joy, cultural encroachment to

Correct article usage

the next

show examples

generations and most importantly brotherhood enrichment make

this

Linking Words

financial factor less important and significant in all

this

Linking Words

. I would like

to conclude

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

by saying that the strength of a nation standing

behinds

Replace the word

behind

show examples

the lines of unity, faith, discipline, brotherhood and happiness which comes from

such

Linking Words

collective

celebrations

Use synonyms

nationwide should have to be met at any cost. So in my view

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

or individuals spending not much on

such

Linking Words

vital and crucial events which

means

Correct subject-verb agreement

mean

show examples

a lot to a nation.

mharis083Tue Dec 28 2021

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coherence cohesion

Ensure to present a clear introduction where the main argument or opinion is clearly stated.

task achievement

Try to deepen the analysis of the examples you provide to make them even more relevant to your argument.

task achievement

The essay effectively uses examples and statistics to support the main argument about the importance of spending on national celebrations.

coherence cohesion

The structure is logical with a clear progression of ideas reinforced throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion neatly wraps up the main points and reinforces the writer's stance on the issue.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

306 words

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The government and individuals are spending too much money on national celebrations like New Year or festivals. Do you agree or disagree?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, govenments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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More and more plastic is polluting cities, the countryside and oceans in the world. What are the problems caused by plastic wastes? What measures should be taken to solve it?

In many countries, it is common for families to own and run their own businesses. Some people think this is the best way to run a business, while others consider this a potential source of problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.