IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people prefer to live in rented homes rather than purchasing their own homes. Do you think advantages of living in rented house outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 present world,
people
Use synonyms
 have plenty of choices whether to rent an apartment or to buy a house.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that renting an apartment would be more beneficial, others contend the
way
Correct word choice
other way
show examples
 around. I personally believe that both views are correct depending on the user necessity, analysing the flexibility,
as well as
Linking Words
 return on investment. On the other side, some
people
Use synonyms
 have a nomad lifestyle that forces them to move from one to another place.
For instance
Linking Words
, a consultant frequently visits a place for just a
while
Linking Words
 before shifting to another city. Considering the prior factor, renting a living place would be more beneficial for them,
instead
Linking Words
 of purchased which is just a deterrent for them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, most likely the owner of the home will usually provide the inhabitants with additional services
such
Linking Words
 as free water and cleaning services, so that they will not overwhelm them.
Besides
Linking Words
, the vast majority of
people
Use synonyms
 tend to move from one location for a certain period of time since they easily get bored. On the other side, purchasing a house is essential considering the safety factor and investment opportunity. Unstable conditions nowadays pose a risk of uncertainty that possibly ruin our income.
For instance
Linking Words
, if hyperinflation happens, the person who already purchases a basic need
such
Linking Words
 as a house will be granted safety for their family. In a similar way, real estate is an investment method that could yield interest compared to just renting it.
To sum up
Linking Words
, both approaches, renting and purchasing a home, have their own merit and rely on the users.
People
Use synonyms
 have to carefully consider their occupation style, their income and the interest rate in their city to make a robust decision.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay provides a solid response to the task, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of renting versus buying a home. However, try to balance your arguments more evenly throughout the essay, as the section on renting is considerably longer than the section on buying.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but they could benefit from more specific examples and deeper analysis to fully develop your points. For instance, you mentioned the nomad lifestyle and the consultant's example. Still, you could expand on this by discussing other professions or scenarios where renting might be advantageous.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next by using more transitional phrases. Although your points are related, the coherence can be improved by making connections between paragraphs more explicit.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, but try to improve the logical structure within the body paragraphs. Each paragraph should discuss a single idea clearly and concisely, linking back to the central thesis statement to maintain cohesion throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay. They give a good overview of the topic and summarize the main points well.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, fulfilling the task requirement. This shows a good understanding of the essay prompt and provides a balanced view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Relocate
  • Upfront financial commitment
  • Down payments
  • Property taxes
  • Maintenance costs
  • Equity
  • Property value appreciation
  • Restrictions
  • Personal ownership
  • Stability
  • Long-term security
  • Rent increases
  • Lease terminations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: