IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe advertisements have positive effect on people and business while others do not. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #advertisements #effect #business
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People
Use synonyms
 believe that there is a positive effect of advertising some
products
Use synonyms
 to grow business
as well as
Linking Words
 to introduce
people
Use synonyms
. I will discuss both views and give examples based on my experience.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, advertisements have a positive impact not only on the
company
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 on
people
Use synonyms
. The
company
Use synonyms
 looking for the opportunity to gain business value by introducing some of its
products
Use synonyms
. There may be some occasions to obtain new potential customers.
Therefore
Linking Words
, from the customer's view, it is easy to understand what product the
company
Use synonyms
 sell in the market.
For instance
Linking Words
, in my
city
Add a comma
,city
show examples
 there is a discount midnight sale in the superstore. The superstore is present through billboards
as well as
Linking Words
 a flyer. It may gain new potential customers
as well as
Linking Words
 finances of the superstore.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there are negative impacts of using advertising for both
people
Use synonyms
 and companies. The
company
Use synonyms
 has prepared a lot of advertisement budget. The budget fee of advertising is so expensive.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 may not need advertising for some kind of product. The basic need consumption
such
Linking Words
 as salt, sugar and vegetables. Indeed, they may have their own preferences and opinions in choosing basic need
products
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, advertisements may be important for some of
company
Use synonyms
 to increase their business valuation and to find new potential customers.
However
Linking Words
, some of
kind
Add an article
the kind
show examples
products
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as basic needs may not need advertisements regarding their own food preferences.
Submitted by haloalwan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: