IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people think that public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their money on expensive hi-tech media, such as softwares, DVDs or videos. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #libraries #books #waste #money #media #softwares #dvds #videos
The majority of the
total
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people claim that
libraries
 should not spend money on other
technology
 there
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
should be just
books
. I completely disagree with
this
 argument and think that
technology
 makes the
library
 more easy for studying and getting new knowledge.  There are
might
Verb problem
apply
show examples
several reasons to think that hi-tech
technology
 will be beneficial for individuals.
Firstly
, the obvious argument in it is a huge choice of things to get
information
. It means that if you want to find
information
such
 as DVDs
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 you can not find
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
web site
Correct your spelling
website
show examples
 you will
be find
Change the verb form
find
show examples
 it in a
library
. For ,example there are many
libraries
 in America which provide DVDs because
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 present time there are not
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 people
ho
Correct your spelling
who
show examples
 have DVDs in
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 and for
them
Add a comma
,them
show examples
 it is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 choice
go
Fix the infinitive
to go
show examples
 to
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
.
Secondly
, there are many reasons to put computers for studying in
libraries
 because students need to find
information
 in reference
books
 and
wright
Correct your spelling
write
show examples
 essays
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
 base. It is because we moved to
studying
Change the verb form
study
show examples
 in
comuters
Correct your spelling
computers
 but all
information
 what we have did not move. These days many individuals go to
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
 with
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 computers because
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 should do homework
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 not packing
technology
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
libraries
 people
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not understand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
useful historical
books
. It means that, if we
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pick
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 many gadgets in
libraries
 there will be not useless to find
information
 in
books
 with a huge history. 
For instance
, the
library
 in Norway there does not provide any
technology
. In conclusion, I would
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
think that more reasons to disagree with the statement,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 we should not forget about
books
 and how much useful
information
 we can find there,
therefore
 need not move
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
books
.
Submitted by pasha2400 on

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