nowadays, many young people leave home at an early age to either study ot work in another city. do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages for young people?

#people #home #age #study #ot #work #city

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In today's fast-paced world, youngsters have to leave their homes to study or find

work

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in other places at an early age.

This

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trend has both advantages,

such

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as getting interacting with different

people

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and

cities

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very well at an early age and

also

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negative

sides

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like feeling lonely and unhappy in new conditions. I believe that its demerits outweigh its merits and

this

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essay will discuss both views before reaching a conclusion. The primary reason why some individuals advocate the former view is that changing

cities

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has useful

sides

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for

people

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In other words

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, they can gain a lot of job opportunities, high-quality education, and good relationships with other

people

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. These factors have a direct impact on their social life, academic career, and

work

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experience.

Furthermore

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, in some

cities

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people

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suffer from the lack of sufficient working facilities or lower rates of education which are so essential for the quality of both studying and education.

Consequently

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, in order to create a better life for

work

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and study individuals tend to move to other

cities

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and it results in ramifications for them.

On the other hand

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, proponents of the latter idea assert that leaving home paves the way for depression and loneliness in youngsters' lives. To elaborate, being apart from their family and relatives directly influences their lives.

As a result

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, they become less attentive about the productivity of

work

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and studies and it leads to terrible consequences in their life.

Moreover

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, the other disadvantage of moving to a new city is lack of security.

People

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are safer when they are with their families and relatives than being in an unknown city and foreigners.

Hence

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, it can result in awful experiences for the young if they are far from their parents. So, the negative

sides

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of the trend are more dangerous for young

people

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To sum up

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although

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there are several advantages of moving to a new city in order to achieve some goals for the young, it has more dangerous and harmful

sides

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for them, which should be taken into account.

Submitted by writingbhos on Sun Mar 24 2024

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Task Response

Focus on balancing the development of both sides of the argument to ensure a more comprehensive exploration of the topic. Consider dedicating a similar length and depth of discussion to each viewpoint.

Task Response

Introduce specific examples to support your arguments. While your essay discusses general ideas, using concrete examples can strengthen your points and make your arguments more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on the transitions between paragraphs for a smoother flow. Use linking phrases such as 'However', 'On the contrary', or 'Furthermore' to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion

Review your essay for minor grammatical errors and repetition of phrases. Aim to vary your vocabulary and sentence structure to enhance readability and sophistication of your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

342 words

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nowadays, many young people leave home at an early age to either study ot work in another city. do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages for young people?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many nations, it is becoming mandatory to receive vaccinations in order to prevent the spread of disease. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past, do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that the experience children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?