nowadays, many young people leave home at an early age to either study ot work in another city. do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages for young people?

#people #home #age #study #ot #work #city

In today's fast-paced world, youngsters have to leave their homes to study or find

work

in other places at an early age.

This

trend has both advantages,

such

as getting interacting with different

people

and

cities

very well at an early age and

also

negative

sides

like feeling lonely and unhappy in new conditions. I believe that its demerits outweigh its merits and

this

essay will discuss both views before reaching a conclusion. The primary reason why some individuals advocate the former view is that changing

cities

has useful

sides

for

people

In other words

, they can gain a lot of job opportunities, high-quality education, and good relationships with other

people

. These factors have a direct impact on their social life, academic career, and

work

experience.

Furthermore

, in some

cities

people

suffer from the lack of sufficient working facilities or lower rates of education which are so essential for the quality of both studying and education.

Consequently

, in order to create a better life for

work

and study individuals tend to move to other

cities

and it results in ramifications for them.

On the other hand

, proponents of the latter idea assert that leaving home paves the way for depression and loneliness in youngsters' lives. To elaborate, being apart from their family and relatives directly influences their lives.

As a result

, they become less attentive about the productivity of

work

and studies and it leads to terrible consequences in their life.

Moreover

, the other disadvantage of moving to a new city is lack of security.

People

are safer when they are with their families and relatives than being in an unknown city and foreigners.

Hence

, it can result in awful experiences for the young if they are far from their parents. So, the negative

sides

of the trend are more dangerous for young

people

To sum up

although

there are several advantages of moving to a new city in order to achieve some goals for the young, it has more dangerous and harmful

sides

for them, which should be taken into account.

Submitted by writingbhos on Sun Mar 24 2024

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Task Response

Focus on balancing the development of both sides of the argument to ensure a more comprehensive exploration of the topic. Consider dedicating a similar length and depth of discussion to each viewpoint.

Task Response

Introduce specific examples to support your arguments. While your essay discusses general ideas, using concrete examples can strengthen your points and make your arguments more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on the transitions between paragraphs for a smoother flow. Use linking phrases such as 'However', 'On the contrary', or 'Furthermore' to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion

Review your essay for minor grammatical errors and repetition of phrases. Aim to vary your vocabulary and sentence structure to enhance readability and sophistication of your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

342 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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nowadays, many young people leave home at an early age to either study ot work in another city. do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages for young people?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas?

Cashless transaction order of the day most of the time people prefer using plastic cash do you think this is trend will be useful for the society.

If all workers in a company were paid exact same wage regardless of job role there would be much more harmony and cooperation between staff. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+