Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, there has been a growing debate about education methods. Some opine that studying through entertainment has numerous benefits for students than reading books,
although
others argue that Linking Words
such
a trend brings potential downsides. Personally, I believe that the advantages of learning from Linking Words
media
far outweigh the drawbacks.
To commence, encouraging colleges to teach by using various Use synonyms
media
offers several benefits to their pupils. Use synonyms
Firstly
, Linking Words
this
approach will bring the attention of children to focus on their class, allowing the youth to absorb a variety of information during learning. Linking Words
As a result
, the young may cultivate a lot more Linking Words
knowledge
when compared with reading textbooks. Use synonyms
Moreover
, because of how interesting the Linking Words
media
is, it generates discussion between learners, sharing individuals’ viewpoints. Use synonyms
For example
, certain schools in the USA let their adolescents play a game in order to gain programming Linking Words
knowledge
. Use synonyms
Hence
, they can practice critical thinking skills and discuss with their friends when they face difficult challenges.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, exploring Linking Words
knowledge
through games or movies may, Use synonyms
however
, lead to some disadvantages. Linking Words
Due to
Linking Words
such
Linking Words
media
being made for entertainment, filmmakers or game developers need to cut off or change some information from the storyline to prevent the audience from feeling bored. Use synonyms
This
gives rise to losing some details Linking Words
while
collecting Linking Words
knowledge
. Use synonyms
Consequently
, pupils may have less deepen understanding in that field. Linking Words
For example
, the movie is related to World War II, but they change a little information about the biography of Hitler. Linking Words
This
brings about a misunderstanding of Hitler’s history.
In conclusion, Linking Words
while
those who disagree with some institutions use Linking Words
media
as a tool to educate, in my opinion, I strongly concur with Use synonyms
this
solution as it lets the young enjoy grasping Linking Words
knowledge
through their experience. Use synonyms
This
will encourage the students to not only gain Linking Words
knowledge
Use synonyms
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
be more interact with that experience and memorize more data Linking Words
while
learning, which the traditional approach cannot provide.Linking Words
Submitted by title848 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure and is quite well-organized. Each paragraph has a clear single purpose. However, some sentences could be structured more clearly - particularly when transitioning between ideas or points. This way, the ideas can be expressed more effectively.
task achievement
The writer has displayed a capacity to provide a complete argument, covering aspects of both agreement and disagreement. Points raised, however, are predominantly general. Providing additional concrete examples would give more weight to the argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the subject.
lexical resource
Introduce a wider range of language, particularly more nuanced vocabulary, to express your points more effectively. You have demonstrated a decent understanding and control of vocabulary, but there are instances where you could have better demonstrated your lexical resource by using more academic language.
grammatical range and accuracy
The essay is largely grammatically correct, but watch out for the occasional preposition error and awkward phrasing. For example, 'more interact with that experience' should probably be 'more interactive with that experience' or 'more engaged in that experience'.