Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, there has been a growing debate about education methods. Some opine that studying through entertainment has numerous benefits for students than reading books,
although
others argue that such
a trend brings potential downsides. Personally, I believe that the advantages of learning from media
far outweigh the drawbacks.
To commence, encouraging colleges to teach by using various media
offers several benefits to their pupils. Firstly
, this
approach will bring the attention of children to focus on their class, allowing the youth to absorb a variety of information during learning. As a result
, the young may cultivate a lot more knowledge
when compared with reading textbooks. Moreover
, because of how interesting the media
is, it generates discussion between learners, sharing individuals’ viewpoints. For example
, certain schools in the USA let their adolescents play a game in order to gain programming knowledge
. Hence
, they can practice critical thinking skills and discuss with their friends when they face difficult challenges.
On the other hand
, exploring knowledge
through games or movies may, however
, lead to some disadvantages. Due to
such
media
being made for entertainment, filmmakers or game developers need to cut off or change some information from the storyline to prevent the audience from feeling bored. This
gives rise to losing some details while
collecting knowledge
. Consequently
, pupils may have less deepen understanding in that field. For example
, the movie is related to World War II, but they change a little information about the biography of Hitler. This
brings about a misunderstanding of Hitler’s history.
In conclusion, while
those who disagree with some institutions use media
as a tool to educate, in my opinion, I strongly concur with this
solution as it lets the young enjoy grasping knowledge
through their experience. This
will encourage the students to not only gain knowledge
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
be more interact with that experience and memorize more data while
learning, which the traditional approach cannot provide.Submitted by title848 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure and is quite well-organized. Each paragraph has a clear single purpose. However, some sentences could be structured more clearly - particularly when transitioning between ideas or points. This way, the ideas can be expressed more effectively.
task achievement
The writer has displayed a capacity to provide a complete argument, covering aspects of both agreement and disagreement. Points raised, however, are predominantly general. Providing additional concrete examples would give more weight to the argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the subject.
lexical resource
Introduce a wider range of language, particularly more nuanced vocabulary, to express your points more effectively. You have demonstrated a decent understanding and control of vocabulary, but there are instances where you could have better demonstrated your lexical resource by using more academic language.
grammatical range and accuracy
The essay is largely grammatically correct, but watch out for the occasional preposition error and awkward phrasing. For example, 'more interact with that experience' should probably be 'more interactive with that experience' or 'more engaged in that experience'.