The graph bellow shows the number of visitors to three museums between 2000 and 2010.

The graph bellow shows the number of visitors to three museums between 2000 and 2010.
The bar graph compares, the total number of guests visited between the
years
2000 and 2005 in three different museums. To summarize, in the given period, the crowds visited the museum were averagely minimal in National,
China
followed by MET, New
York
and
Edo
, Tokyo. In the year 2000, in
Edo
,Tokyo 13
million
visitors
were noticed
while
, in MET at New
York
12
million
visitors
and in National,
China
6
million
.
Further
, in the
years
2001 and 2002, 6
million
annual
visitors
were recorded in MET, New
York
whereas
, older history was maintained for
Edo
in 2001 and reduced in the next year.
Likewise
, the 7.8
million
in National
China
,
thus
gradually increased in the next few
years
and the same was witnessed in the
years
2003 and 2004.
On the contrary
, in the
years
2003 and 2004, a slight decrease and rise occurred in
Edo
, Tokyo
similarly
, a rapid incline was captured in MET, New
York
.
Finally
,
at the end
of the year 2005, all three profited with the huge number of
visitors
where National,
China
was 15.5
million
observed and the reset were negligible.
Submitted by gs250485 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, china, york, edo, million, visitors with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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