You are interested in attending a training course abroad but require financial support to do so. Write a letter to the education department requesting financial assistance. In your letter •introduce yourself •describe the training course and how it would benefit your work •explain why you need financial assistance.

#course #support #education #department #assistance #•introduce #•describe #work #•explain

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing

this

letter to request you for scholarship support from your esteemed organisation. I am Sam, currently living in Toronto City in the Woodside neighbourhood for the past twenty-five years.

Furthermore

, I am working as a business analyst in one of the world's best companies. Recently, I was checking your firm website for employment-related purposes. Fortunately, I saw a data analysis course on your webpage with a detailed description.

Moreover

this

subject was completely covered by using Microsoft Power BI, which is good for my future career. Because, these days, most organisations are looking for

this

professional certificate. Once I finish

this

lesson, it helps me to promote my image in the company,

as well as

my salary level

Rephrase

apply

show examples

also

Finally

, I would like to request financial assistance for

this

training subject from your prestigious school. Because, in my family, I am the only income-earning person. So, all of my income is completely spent on our daily needs. I hope you can understand my situation, and I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Sam

Submitted by jeeveshkb22 on Wed Apr 03 2024

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Task Achievement

Make sure to address the recipient more specifically if possible, rather than using 'Sir or Madam'. Providing a more specific department or name can make your letter feel more personal and directed.

Coherence and Cohesion

While you have structured your letter into paragraphs, working on transitions between paragraphs can help improve the flow and make your arguments more compelling.

Coherence and Cohesion

Although your spelling and grammar are generally good, remember to check for minor errors that might slip through, such as in phrases like 'request you for scholarship support'. The correct phrasing would be 'request scholarship support from you'.

Task Achievement

You provided a clear introduction of yourself, which is great for setting the context.

Task Achievement

Your explanation of how the training would benefit your work and career was well detailed, which helps strengthen your argument for financial assistance.

Coherence and Cohesion

Finishing the letter with a polite and hopeful note is an excellent way to conclude.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

182 words

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive development while others think it is negative overall. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or buildings they live in. what are the reasons for this ? how can people research this ?

Some people say that parents have the most important role in child’s development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both of view and give your opinion