Some people think that young people should spend free time with families instead of outside entertainment, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is true that family has an indispensable role to play in
one
's growing process. Therefore
, some individuals harbour a belief that young people have to divert their free time
from outside amusement to families. This
essay will delve into both perspectives in a comprehensive manner before explicating my position.
Initially
, one
of the main arguments in its favour is that the time
with families will be gradually reduced when growing up. Many people spend less time
at home as their life circles expand. For example
, some students move to another city for college. The main period of staying with families in one
's life is usually from birth to teenage years. Moreover
, this
is a period which relies on the function of family the most since children need parents to take care of them and teenagers require support and guidance when encountering obstacles or being lost.
At the other end of the spectrum, hanging out with friends for amusement is also
vital to one
's early life. It can not only build up a social network but also
elevate personal visions by meeting different kinds of individuals and even learning some skills like attending sports teams. In addition
, the connection with peers is an essential aspect ,especially at young ages which may influence the development of mental health. Besides
the aforementioned, outside entertainment indeed brings some positive effects.
To sum up
, both viewpoints are compelling because the two factors are critical to constructing optimal growth. Thus
, youngsters should divvy up their free time
evenly so as to strike a balance between family and friendship. The front and centre is to cherish the people around.Submitted by s99104032 on
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Task Achievement
Continue to maintain a balanced view throughout your essays, as this helps in thoroughly discussing both sides of an argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhancing your essay with more varied and complex sentence structures could further improve its readability and engagement.
Task Achievement
To provide even more depth, consider adding more detailed examples or personal anecdotes that support your main points.
Task Achievement
You've effectively discussed both viewpoints in a comprehensive manner, which speaks well to your understanding of the task requirements.
Coherence & Cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical and coherent, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively sums up your discussion and presents a clear opinion, which enhances the overall cohesiveness of your essay.