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It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. Dinosaurs, dodos …) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

#process #species #e #g #dinosaurs #dodos #reason #people
In a 24/7 world, the disappearance of different
animals
 become well-known, apparently in wild environments. Whether individuals claim that
this
 phenomenon happens because of natural reasons or hunting reasons. In my opinion, I fully agree with the first statement, and I wholeheartedly support the reason for the extinction of some animal species is natural disasters occurred at that moment.
To begin
 with, the worsening environment plays a crucial thing in the vanishing of the other animal. Evidently, there are numerous emission gases that
factories
 produce and it affects to deterioration of
animals
. By way of illustration,
according to
 CNN News approximately 17,900 diverse types of creatures died,
due to
 the effect of harmful emissions that were produced in
factories
 near the rivers.
Furthermore
, these hazardous emissions affect the surroundings too,
such
 as plants, and trees.
Secondly
, poaching
animals
 become more popular worldwide, especially wild
animals
, on account fact that
animals
' skin is expensive and hunters earn from that. One clear example is crocodile skin is 400$ or 500$,
that is
 why an abundance of hunters poach the crocodiles.
On the other hand
, for the preservation of natural habitat dwellers need to prohibit poaching and convince owners of
factories
 to shift to somewhere else. Fundamentally, government authorities are able to create a team where all desired people are able to work and shield wildlife from poachers. It is a conceivable chance to prevent the extinction of wildlife and assist in neutralizing challenges that might occur with the environment in the future.
Secondly
,
factories
 have to find more harmless places that will not affect their surroundings or consider where they are able to utilize perilous materials.
To sum up
, after weighing up both sides of the argument it is indispensable to say that citizens of nations have to forbid hunting and usage of
factories
 near the sea or forests.
However
, humankind is not able to prevent environmental species from natural disasters.
Submitted by akmaltulyaganov1 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing ideas more coherently and connecting them logically.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are adequate, but the development of the main points could be strengthened for a more complete response.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support the main points that are being made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • biodiversity
  • conservation
  • ecosystems
  • environmental ethics
  • habitat destruction
  • anthropogenic impact
  • ecological balance
  • natural selection
  • wildlife preservation
  • genetic diversity
  • endangered species
  • biological heritage
  • sustainable practices
  • Anthropocene
  • cascade effects
  • intrinsic value
  • habitat conservation
  • extinction crisis
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