In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a mall community?

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Nowadays, it is becoming common for
people
who live in large cities to have less communication with their neighbours.
In contrast
,
people
who live in rural areas have better relationships with the
people
surrounding them. In
this
essay, I will examine the pros and cons of living in a small community. The reason why living in a rural area has a positive effect is a lower crime rate.
People
who live in small communities tend to know everyone in that place. It makes
people
feel a sense of belonging. Their bonding becomes stronger as they feel that they are family.
Moreover
,
this
attitude makes
citizens
help
people
surrounding them easily. For illustration, the lower class family does not feel reluctant to ask for help from their neighbours for basic needs
such
as rice and cooking oil when they have the hardest time fulfilling their daily needs.
However
, they do not have to steal to fulfil their basic needs.
Consequently
,
citizens
feel safe. Meanwhile living in small communities can limit the option of jobs. There are not many available jobs in rural areas. The main job is farming. By living in rural areas,
citizens
can not have greater job opportunities. They can
also
be stuck on one job because it is hard to get the new one.
Nevertheless
, they can not improve their skills. For illustration, workers in small cities can not improve their positions because there is a limited number of high-rise positions in the corporation.
As a result
,
citizens
can not improve their lives.
To sum up
, living in a minor community can make
people
feel safe because the community is easy to help each other, but it
also
brings demerits, especially with limited available jobs.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task response advice
Your essay provides a clear response to the task question, but make sure to address both advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community. Ensure that you cover all aspects of the question in your response.
coherence and cohesion advice
The essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion with a logical structure. You have used appropriate transition words and the paragraphs are well-organized. Make sure to link your ideas more clearly to maintain coherence in your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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