Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

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Although
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it is sometimes thought that taxpayers' money ought to be spent on major issues of the country rather than artistic activities as it is a waste of precious resources. In my opinion, I believe that the
government
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must support rising artists to bring more finance to the country and for a better future for growing
children
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.
Arts
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, without a doubt, improve the functioning of the brain as some studies have shown that
children
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who study
arts
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of any kind develop both left and right hemispheres of the brain which are mostly used in critical thinking and better decision making. To illustrate, school-going
children
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must have any
arts
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subject in their curriculum so that they can do much better in the future.
Moreover
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, intelligent students will tackle bigger societal issues,
therefore
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, the
government
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must spend on the
arts
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. Another point to consider is that Indian art is well-known globally. Our country is one of the bigger players in the global market in terms of hand-made
arts
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and crafts which creates a positive inflow of money into India.
For instance
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, the current
government
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is promoting Indian cultural handicrafts, clothes and other artists by giving them subsidies and tax benefits.
Furthermore
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, the Bollywood industry in India does a great amount of business as
this
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kind of art is quite famous worldwide.
Hence
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,
arts
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create a huge financial impact on the Indian economy.
Finally
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, the majority of the population have businesses around artistic activities and these are the only source of income for these families which is providing basic needs like food, shelter and basic education for their
children
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.
Additionally
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, poverty is reducing at a faster rate
due to
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the above reasons so it's obvious that spend more and more to help these people. In conclusion, despite people having different opinions. In my view, I thought that the
government
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must focus on small-scale artists by giving them subsidies and tax rebates, which, in the end, helps our economy.
Submitted by mndps97 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the writer's position and previews the main points to be discussed. The conclusion should summarize the main points and reinforce the writer's opinion.
task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the task, providing a clear opinion and relevant examples to support it. Consider structuring the essay in a more organized manner, with a clear introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
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