Some people think that the government should spend money on adult’s population who can’t read and write while other not. To what extend to you agree or disagree?

There is an ongoing debate over whether the government should invest money in the adult population who can'
t
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read and write or not. Some people claim that
this
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will help increase the employment index,
while
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others firmly believe that
this
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measurement wouldn'
t
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change anything.
This
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essay will elucidate both sides of
this
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argument and provide a clear conclusion.
To begin
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with, I moderately agree with the following statement: the amount of elderly who can'
t
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read is abnormally high and authorities should implement some measures that will change that.
Firstly
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, decreasing the number of adults who can'
t
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read will lead to an increase in the employment index. I think it is evident that if one can'
t
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read, it will be tough to find any employer who would be ready to give him a job.
Furthermore
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, a good employment index, results in a good economy for the country, and a good economy leads to better infrastructure.
For instance
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, countries with the lowest rate of unemployment are the happiest countries in the world.
However
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, there are some individuals that are sceptical about
this
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. They claim that if one didn'
t
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get a proper education when he was young,
due to
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lack of interest or some other causes, he won'
t
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get it now too. I totally disagree with the previous statement, because I believe that we should give anyone a second chance in their life. Maybe individuals were irresponsible when they were young,
nevertheless
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, they can change for the better as they grow up and seek the truth and wisdom. In that case, we should grant them the opportunity to improve their life by learning how to read and write. In conclusion, as I mentioned previously I am a supporter of
this
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topic.
Moreover
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,
this
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essay analyzed both sides of
this
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debate and provided viable information.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transition words to connect ideas better.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the topic and presents both sides.
task achievement
You provided a good conclusion that sums up your view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • government
  • spend
  • money
  • adults
  • population
  • read
  • write
  • agree
  • disagree
  • education
  • basic
  • need
  • programs
  • improve
  • job
  • market
  • economy
  • supporting
  • literacy
  • health
  • choices
  • understanding
  • important
  • information
  • daily
  • life
  • investing
  • reduce
  • poverty
  • levels
  • skills
  • opportunities
  • argue
  • funds
  • children
  • future
  • workforce
  • strong
  • foundation
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