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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram shows proposed changes to Foster Road.Write a 150-word report describing the proposed changes for a local committee

The diagram shows proposed changes to Foster Road.Write a 150-word report describing the proposed changes for a local committee
The image displays the development of Foster Road before and after a proposal for a local committee.
Overall
Linking Words
, in comparison a particular roadway has had numerous improvements in a new plan.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it looks like greenery on both sides of the street.
To begin
Linking Words
, the left side of 84th Avenue has many the pathway has many trees planted, that were not placed in the past map. There are more than five trees on the platform. They expanded the sidewalks, which are in yellow colour.
In addition
Linking Words
, a new pedestrian crossing was
also
Linking Words
 designed in the present one. There is no bicycle lane in the old plane.
However
Linking Words
, they proposed installing bicycle lanes, beside the street. The electric transparan is not placed in both terms.
According to
Linking Words
 85th Avenue, the old platform does not have the flora compared to the fresh location. In total, more than ten trees are planted beside the highway.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the sidewalks were expanded.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the right-side electric transparency looks similar to the previous picture.The centre of the highway has changed a lot more than before. In the recent proposal, the pathway contains a clean black divider installed
instead
Linking Words
 of dot lines. The new Bicycle lanes are
also
Linking Words
 waiting to be built.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the core of the expressway is narrowed compared to the previous plan.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, furthermore".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the eighth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the ninth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the eighth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the ninth paragraph.
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