Some celebrities feel that the media violates their personal space and shares their private life publicly, while others feel it is just part of being famous. What is your opinion?

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Everyone has their own private life that should be respected, including

celebrities

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However

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, with the presence of

media

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celebrities

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' personal space is more prone to get exposed to the public. Some are disturbed by

this

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, yet others just think about it as a part of being famous. I think, to some extent, it is the right thing for them to feel disturbed about it.

Firstly

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, the

media

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is pressured to create an article about a particular someone who is famous.

This

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includes articles about their works, arts, or even rumours and malicious scandals. Things done by famous

celebrities

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could ignite huge sensations in the entertainment news. To get high engagement, the

media

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would do anything to dig into these famous

celebrities

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' profiles, including violating their private life.

This

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is actually not acceptable. It is unprofessional and puts the alleged

celebrities

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in an uncomfortable situation.

Celebrities

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, just like other human beings, have stuff they do not wish to share with the public. Whether it is about their family, hobbies, confidential information about their identity, etc. They have all the right to protect these stuffs from getting exposed.

Moreover

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, it is a part of human rights written in the regulations.

Therefore

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, one should never violate someone's privacy. Unfortunately, there are many times when the

media

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failed to grasp

this

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concept of protecting personal space.

To sum up

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, I believe every celebrity already knows the consequences of being famous.

Nevertheless

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, whenever they feel their space is being crossed, they have all the freedom to speak up and put their rights first to protect things they keep preciously.

sigit.yuniarTue Sep 12 2023

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task achievement

Your essay provides a clear overall opinion, satisfying the task achievement criteria to some extent. However, it lacks specific examples and supporting details to fully address all parts of the prompt. To improve, make sure to include a range of specific examples that demonstrate your points, thereby fully satisfying the task and providing a more complete response.

coherence cohesion

The essay maintains a logical structure throughout with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas could be improved by providing a stronger connection between the main points, ensuring each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. Using cohesive devices and clear topic sentences will enhance the internal logic of the essay and aid in maintaining a coherent argument.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

scrutiny
invasion of privacy
paparazzi
tabloids
public figures
media attention
psychological impact
celebrity worship
public interest
personal space
ethical boundaries
sensationalism
public persona
privacy laws
harassment

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Some celebrities feel that the media violates their personal space and shares their private life publicly, while others feel it is just part of being famous. What is your opinion?

some people say that the Government should not put money on building theaters and sports stadium. Others say that they should spend more money on medical care and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries is a positive development, while others think that many countries will lose their national identities as a result. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In many countries, there is an increasing trend in using mobile phone apps for payment purpose instead of old way of cash handling. What is your opinion. Explain with examples.