IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#individuals #environment #governments #companies #difference
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There is no denying the fact that the
environment
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 is crucial for us because we live in it. It is a commonly held belief that governments and big
companies
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 have to help and progress the
environment
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 from climate
change
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. There is
also
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 an argument opposing it. In my opinion, consider that
people
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 can make a huge difference in protecting the
environment
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.
To begin
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 with, the climate has changed in the
last
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 few years,
However
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, the governments should be focused on the big
companies
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 and make sure they will help the
environment
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 from the
change
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 to the worse.
In other words
Linking Words
, the government contract with the big
companies
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 and tell them will not let the factories inside the cities.
In addition
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, factories can make a big difference if they control the burning inside them.
For example
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, Aramco in Saudi Arabia one of the biggest
companies
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 in the world, should not put the factory inside the city. Another point to consider, the government and
people
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 should
change
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 cars from gas to electronic cars which will help the
environment
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change
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. It is
also
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 possible to say that oil plays a big role in the
change
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.
Moreover
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, we should
change
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 the oil to solar and clean energy.
For instance
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, if we
change
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 oil to renewable energy that would help the
environment
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. In conclusion, despite
people
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 having different views, believe that governments, big
companies
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 and
people
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 can make a big difference to protect the
environment
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 and live in great weather without any problems or negatives.
Submitted by Aziz on

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coherence cohesion
You need to structure your essay more coherently by using clear topic sentences and linking your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
You should focus more on addressing the specific task prompt and providing relevant examples to support your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental awareness
  • sustainable practices
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • waste reduction
  • conservation
  • ecosystem
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • responsibility
  • leadership
  • legislation
  • investment
  • collaboration
  • systemic change
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