The Pie chart below show the main reasons why agricultural land becomes Iess productivitive. The table shows how these causes affected regions of the world during the 1990s.

The Pie chart below show the main reasons why agricultural land becomes Iess productivitive. The table shows how these causes affected regions of the world during the 1990s.
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The pie chart illustrates the causes of world wilde
land
Use synonyms
disapperances
Correct your spelling
disappearances
disappearance
and the table explains the causes of
land
Use synonyms
degradation by region. 
To begin
Linking Words
with,
Linking Words
according to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the pie chart shows four reasons,
such
Linking Words
as deforestation, Over- cultivation ,
Over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
- grazing and others.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
deforestation
Correct article usage
the deforestation
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
was 30%. That
percentage
Use synonyms
was less than the over-grazing
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
. 35% of
over - grazing
Correct your spelling
overgrazing
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
agricultural lands
had becomes
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
less
productivity
Replace the word
productive
show examples
. Over- cultivation
percentage
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was 28%.
In addition
Linking Words
,
thee
Correct your spelling
other
show examples
countries
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
faced
that
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with that
show examples
situation,
such
Linking Words
as North
American
Correct your spelling
America
show examples
,
Europe
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,
Oceania
Correct word choice
and Oceania
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Europe
Change noun form
Europe's
show examples
deforestation
percentage
Use synonyms
was increasing than the the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
regions. The
Percentage
Use synonyms
was 9.8%
as well as
Linking Words
over -cultivation
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose in
Europe
Use synonyms
country. but
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
two countries
Over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cultivation
percentage
Use synonyms
was less than the
Use synonyms
Europe
Correct your spelling
European
show examples
country parentage.
Over - grazing
Correct your spelling
Overgrazing
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
was
maximum
Correct article usage
the maximum
show examples
in Oceania
percentage
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, in 1990,
Use synonyms
Europe
Change noun form
Europe's
show examples
acicultural
Correct your spelling
agricultural
land
Use synonyms
had
becomes
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
less
product
Replace the word
productive
show examples
than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
twoCountries
Correct your spelling
two countries
. 23%
total
Change preposition
of total
show examples
land
Use synonyms
degraded in
Europe
Use synonyms
country in 1990.
Submitted by heshanij9 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
Vocabulary: Replace the words land, percentage, europe with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 10 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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