The Pie chart below show the main reasons why agricultural land becomes Iess productivitive. The table shows how these causes affected regions of the world during the 1990s.

#show #land #iess #productivitive #regions #world

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The pie chart illustrates the causes of world wilde

land

Use synonyms

disapperances

Correct your spelling

disappearances

disappearance

and the table explains the causes of

land

Use synonyms

degradation by region.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

Linking Words

according to

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the pie chart shows four reasons,

such

Linking Words

as deforestation, Over- cultivation ,

Over

Change preposition

apply

show examples

- grazing and others.

Firstly

Linking Words

deforestation

Correct article usage

the deforestation

show examples

percentage

Use synonyms

was 30%. That

percentage

Use synonyms

was less than the over-grazing

percentages

Fix the agreement mistake

percentage

show examples

. 35% of

over - grazing

Correct your spelling

overgrazing

show examples

percentage

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

agricultural lands

had becomes

Wrong verb form

have become

show examples

less

productivity

Replace the word

productive

show examples

. Over- cultivation

percentage

Use synonyms

was 28%.

In addition

Linking Words

thee

Correct your spelling

other

show examples

countries

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

faced

that

Change preposition

with that

show examples

situation,

such

Linking Words

as North

American

Correct your spelling

America

show examples

Europe

Use synonyms

Oceania

Correct word choice

and Oceania

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

Use synonyms

Europe

Change noun form

Europe's

show examples

deforestation

percentage

Use synonyms

was increasing than the the

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

regions. The

Percentage

Use synonyms

was 9.8%

as well as

Linking Words

over -cultivation

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

rose in

Europe

Use synonyms

country. but

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

two countries

Over

Change preposition

apply

show examples

cultivation

percentage

Use synonyms

was less than the

Use synonyms

Europe

Correct your spelling

European

show examples

country parentage.

Over - grazing

Correct your spelling

Overgrazing

show examples

percentage

Use synonyms

was

maximum

Correct article usage

the maximum

show examples

in Oceania

percentage

Use synonyms

Overall

Linking Words

, in 1990,

Use synonyms

Europe

Change noun form

Europe's

show examples

acicultural

Correct your spelling

agricultural

land

Use synonyms

had

becomes

Wrong verb form

become

show examples

less

product

Replace the word

productive

show examples

than

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

twoCountries

Correct your spelling

two countries

. 23%

total

Change preposition

of total

show examples

land

Use synonyms

degraded in

Europe

Use synonyms

country in 1990.

Submitted by heshanij9 on Tue Sep 12 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words land, percentage, europe with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 10 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

162 words

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The Pie chart below show the main reasons why agricultural land becomes Iess productivitive. The table shows how these causes affected regions of the world during the 1990s.

Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries travelled to. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. why is this happening? do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a chilcd's development as other subjects, so it should be a compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

people believe that poverty is the cause of crime .To what extant do you agree or not .

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.