The Pie chart below show the main reasons why agricultural land becomes Iess productivitive. The table shows how these causes affected regions of the world during the 1990s.

#show #land #iess #productivitive #regions #world

The pie chart illustrates the causes of world wilde

land

disapperances

Correct your spelling

disappearances

disappearance

and the table explains the causes of

land

degradation by region.

To begin

with,

according to

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the pie chart shows four reasons,

such

as deforestation, Over- cultivation ,

Over

Change preposition

apply

show examples

- grazing and others.

Firstly

deforestation

Correct article usage

the deforestation

show examples

percentage

was 30%. That

percentage

was less than the over-grazing

percentages

Fix the agreement mistake

percentage

show examples

. 35% of

over - grazing

Correct your spelling

overgrazing

show examples

percentage

Therefore

agricultural lands

had becomes

Wrong verb form

have become

show examples

less

productivity

Replace the word

productive

show examples

. Over- cultivation

percentage

was 28%.

In addition

thee

Correct your spelling

other

show examples

countries

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

faced

that

Change preposition

with that

show examples

situation,

such

as North

American

Correct your spelling

America

show examples

Europe

Oceania

Correct word choice

and Oceania

show examples

Furthermore

Europe

Change noun form

Europe's

show examples

deforestation

percentage

was increasing than the the

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

regions. The

Percentage

was 9.8%

as well as

over -cultivation

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

rose in

Europe

country. but

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

two countries

Over

Change preposition

apply

show examples

cultivation

percentage

was less than the

Europe

Correct your spelling

European

show examples

country parentage.

Over - grazing

Correct your spelling

Overgrazing

show examples

percentage

was

maximum

Correct article usage

the maximum

show examples

in Oceania

percentage

Overall

, in 1990,

Europe

Change noun form

Europe's

show examples

acicultural

Correct your spelling

agricultural

land

had

becomes

Wrong verb form

become

show examples

less

product

Replace the word

productive

show examples

than

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

twoCountries

Correct your spelling

two countries

. 23%

total

Change preposition

of total

show examples

land

degraded in

Europe

country in 1990.

Submitted by heshanij9 on Tue Sep 12 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words land, percentage, europe with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 10 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

162 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The Pie chart below show the main reasons why agricultural land becomes Iess productivitive. The table shows how these causes affected regions of the world during the 1990s.

Some countries encourage foreign companies to open a branch office in their country. Many people think that the government should focus on encouraging local businesses to expand rather than inviting foreign businesses to open branches To what extent do you agree?

students should spend timeworking before beginning their university studies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam.’How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

These days, people work in more than one job, and often change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?