The Pie chart below show the main reasons why agricultural land becomes Iess productivitive. The table shows how these causes affected regions of the world during the 1990s.

The Pie chart below show the main reasons why agricultural land becomes Iess productivitive. The table shows how these causes affected regions of the world during the 1990s.
The pie chart illustrates the causes of world wilde
land
disapperances
Correct your spelling
disappearances
disappearance
and the table explains the causes of
land
degradation by region. 
To begin
with,
according to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the pie chart shows four reasons,
such
as deforestation, Over- cultivation ,
Over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
- grazing and others.
Firstly
,
deforestation
Correct article usage
the deforestation
show examples
percentage
was 30%. That
percentage
was less than the over-grazing
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
. 35% of
over - grazing
Correct your spelling
overgrazing
show examples
percentage
.
Therefore
agricultural lands
had becomes
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
less
productivity
Replace the word
productive
show examples
. Over- cultivation
percentage
was 28%.
In addition
,
thee
Correct your spelling
other
show examples
countries
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
faced
that
Change preposition
with that
show examples
situation,
such
as North
American
Correct your spelling
America
show examples
,
Europe
,
Oceania
Correct word choice
and Oceania
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
Europe
Change noun form
Europe's
show examples
deforestation
percentage
was increasing than the the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
regions. The
Percentage
was 9.8%
as well as
over -cultivation
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose in
Europe
country. but
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
two countries
Over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cultivation
percentage
was less than the
Europe
Correct your spelling
European
show examples
country parentage.
Over - grazing
Correct your spelling
Overgrazing
show examples
percentage
was
maximum
Correct article usage
the maximum
show examples
in Oceania
percentage
.
Overall
, in 1990,
Europe
Change noun form
Europe's
show examples
acicultural
Correct your spelling
agricultural
land
had
becomes
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
less
product
Replace the word
productive
show examples
than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
twoCountries
Correct your spelling
two countries
. 23%
total
Change preposition
of total
show examples
land
degraded in
Europe
country in 1990.
Submitted by heshanij9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
Vocabulary: Replace the words land, percentage, europe with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 10 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: