A college asked its graduates to give a speech to current students about their professional careers and future opportunities. You would like to participate. Write a letter and say What you want to talk about Why you think students will be interested in it Suggest a suitable date and time for your speech
Dear Sir/Madam,
My name is Tajinder Singh, a
last
-year graduate student of your college. I am writing this
letter to express my interest in the event where graduates are going to guide the undergraduates regarding their future careers.
Firstly
, I am working as a project manager in a renowned company after completing a project management diploma in 2022. Therefore
, I decided to do my presentation on the current opportunities related to this
stream. Moreover
, I will explain the different pathways to achieve that target along with
the required skills to accomplish that goal easily. Apart from that I will also
discuss the barriers, that I faced to find a job, which is not a part of any syllabus. So, I believe that attracts all participants in this
event.
I can represent students on any Monday or Wednesday because I am free on those days. I would be grateful if you could provide me confirmed date and time as soon as possible through e-mail. So that I can prepare my speech.
I look forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
TajinderSingh
Correct your spelling
Rajinder Singh
Submitted by tajinder.panag on
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Task Achievement
Add a more personalised introduction that not only introduces who you are in the context of the prompt but also briefly hints at the unique perspective or experience you plan to share. This slight adjustment could deepen the engagement from the beginning.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words or phrases. While your organisation is clear, introducing phrases that explicitly signal contrast, addition, cause and effect, etc., could enhance the flow further.
Task Achievement
Though your writing tone is generally suitable, fine-tuning it to ensure it is consistently formal where appropriate, and perhaps adding a touch of enthusiasm or passion about the subject matter, could make your letter even more compelling.