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Band 7

4.Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #technology #companies #data #exchange #access #software #outweigh
It is true that nowadays some
people
 are choosing to exchange with the usage of
software
companies
 by their private
information
. In
this
 essay, I will explain why I feel the advantages of
this
 do not outweigh the disadvantages. I concede that there are some benefits to giving personal
information
 to tech
companies
 to exchange
access
 to
software
 and the most obvious one is it provides an easier and more effective way to support our daily lives for free. If
people
 use
software
 to deal with their lives and professions, they can
access
 it simply with a click of a button, and
this
 may well immediately improve their efficiency in solving problems or making progress and is potentially incredibly crucial.
For example
, WeChat, the most popular social networking app in China, offers service for free, enabling most
people
 in China to contact each other promptly and freely, and
this
 makes
people
 willing to share their personal data with it.
However
, I believe the disadvantages of
this
 proposition overshadow its advantages. One reason is that it arguably leads to an infringement of their privacy. Young generations in China,
for instance
, opt to share their personal
information
 to gain
access
 to
software
. As
such
, these
companies
 sell their personal data to many different
companies
 and they are disturbed by lots of unknown phone calls, which is why it can impair one’s privacy. Another compelling reason is that they may well be encouraged to purchase stuff which they do not need. When
companies
 know individual likes and unlike, they can easily
access
 their target customers, in turn making them promote their product in an effective way. What
this
 does is make it absolutely beneficial. In conclusion,
while
 there are some benefits to exchange for
access
 to
software
 with personal
information
, I believe the drawbacks are more significant.
Submitted by 15219169 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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