IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think it is better for one single legal system throughout the world. Other say countries should have their own law

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There is a view shared by a certain number of people that all countries should have the same laws.
According to
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 the opposing opinion, a unified legal
system
Use synonyms
 cannot be achieved
due to
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 cultural and other differences between the
states
Use synonyms
. I tend to agree with the first point, as the same
system
Use synonyms
 ensures equal rights for the whole population. On the one hand,
states
Use synonyms
 have their own unique historical background in which the laws have developed. Constitutions, despite occasionally sharing general ideas, regulate political processes in a different manner. Judicial precedents that lead to the enactment of some rules are
also
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 country-specific.
For instance
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, the legal scene in Germany cannot be fairly compared to the Chinese one. Even though both constitutions proclaim democratic values
such
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 as religious and racial equality, there is a noticeable distinction between political regimes.
Moreover
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, the process of adopting even one international law is already complicated since it involves active communication between the
states
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.
This
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 is the problem that the United Nations faces.
On the other hand
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, it is possible to realize a single legal
system
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 that can be applied to as many countries as possible. Humans from all over the world deserve to have their essential rights protected on a higher level.
Additionally
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, international law ensures that global problems are addressed and managed by everyone. Sustainable Development Goals 17
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 were established by the United Nations in 2015 emphasize the importance of gender equality, climate action, and clean energy. They encourage all the countries to make a significant change for the better.
According to
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 United Nations reports, some advancements in these goals were made in the course of the
last
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 few years. In conclusion, a unified legal
system
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 can be achieved through open dialogue and partnership between the
states
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. International laws have a lot of advantages because they provide a global administration of vital issues that concern everyone.

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introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are present and adequately summarize the main points. However, the introduction could be more engaging, and the conclusion could be a bit more impactful.
logical structure
The essay could benefit from a clearer logical structure. Consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader and make the argument flow more smoothly.
relevant specific examples
While the essay does provide specific examples, adding more variety and depth to the examples would make the argument more compelling.
complete response
The essay addresses both views on the topic and provides a balanced discussion. This shows a good understanding of the task.
clear comprehensive ideas
The main points are clearly presented and supported. The ideas are comprehensive and easy to follow.
relevant specific examples
The example of the United Nations' Sustainable Development Goals is particularly relevant and strengthens the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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