In some countries young people are encouraged to work or tavel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

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A new alternative after high school has started to become more popular in recent years, and
that is
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to take a gap
year
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before officially starting
university
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studies. There are different pros and cons to
this
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approach, which I will be discussing in
this
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essay. On the one hand, there are several advantages that can be derived from travelling and working a
year
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before starting higher level education. One of these advantages is how it gives young people a chance to
experience
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the real world, gaining life
skills
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for themselves in the process which would give them an added boost when compared to other
university
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undergraduates. Having
this
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experience
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that no schools can teach would make them more attractive to
university
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admissions offices or potential employers.
This
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is shown through a survey by Forbes, where it's estimated that over 70% of employers would prefer an individual with added life
experience
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and soft
skills
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rather than specialised knowledge. These employers all said
this
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is because it's much easier to do training for technical knowledge and
skills
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compared to interpersonal
skills
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.
On the other hand
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, there are a number of drawbacks when pursuing
this
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path of dedicating a
year
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to developing oneself. One obvious drawback is the potential risk of demotivation of going back to formal education. There's always a possibility of finding your break too distracting or interesting to want to leave all that behind and return to school properly, which makes it more difficult to obtain a degree which can aid in finding a job. In fact, research done by the
University
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Of California, Berkeley predicts that around 40% of people who opted for a gap
year
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, never actually returned to formal education. Being disincentivised to obtain a degree can lead to the risk of being economically dependent in the future,
due to
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being unemployed. In conclusion, taking a
year
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off to focus on travel or work
experience
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after high school does have the potential to bring with it plausible benefits but at the same time, we shouldn't overlook the downside when choosing
this
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option to be able to decide what is best for each individual separately.
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Task achievement
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the given prompt and provides a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year. Include specific examples to support each point.
Coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but the sequencing of ideas could be improved. Use more transitional phrases to enhance the coherence and flow of the essay.
Lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses appropriate academic language. To enhance the lexical resource, aim for more consistency in using academic and formal vocabulary throughout the essay.
Grammatical range
The essay displays a good command of grammar and varied sentence structures. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use of complex sentences to further enhance the grammatical range.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gap year
  • Hands-on experience
  • Resume
  • Career prospects
  • Time management
  • Problem-solving
  • Communication skills
  • Independence
  • Maturity
  • Autonomous
  • Character
  • Confidence
  • Cultural exposure
  • Open-mindedness
  • Globalized societies
  • Financial benefits
  • Academic momentum
  • Structured learning environment
  • Peer progression
  • Anxiety
  • Career timelines
  • Travel restrictions
  • Disappointment
  • Wasted time
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