In some countries young people are encouraged to work or tavel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.
A new alternative after high school has started to become more popular in recent years, and
that is
to take a gap year
before officially starting university
studies. There are different pros and cons to this
approach, which I will be discussing in this
essay.
On the one hand, there are several advantages that can be derived from travelling and working a year
before starting higher level education. One of these advantages is how it gives young people a chance to experience
the real world, gaining life skills
for themselves in the process which would give them an added boost when compared to other university
undergraduates. Having this
experience
that no schools can teach would make them more attractive to university
admissions offices or potential employers. This
is shown through a survey by Forbes, where it's estimated that over 70% of employers would prefer an individual with added life experience
and soft skills
rather than specialised knowledge. These employers all said this
is because it's much easier to do training for technical knowledge and skills
compared to interpersonal skills
.
On the other hand
, there are a number of drawbacks when pursuing this
path of dedicating a year
to developing oneself. One obvious drawback is the potential risk of demotivation of going back to formal education. There's always a possibility of finding your break too distracting or interesting to want to leave all that behind and return to school properly, which makes it more difficult to obtain a degree which can aid in finding a job. In fact, research done by the University
Of California, Berkeley predicts that around 40% of people who opted for a gap year
, never actually returned to formal education. Being disincentivised to obtain a degree can lead to the risk of being economically dependent in the future, due to
being unemployed.
In conclusion, taking a year
off to focus on travel or work experience
after high school does have the potential to bring with it plausible benefits but at the same time, we shouldn't overlook the downside when choosing this
option to be able to decide what is best for each individual separately.Submitted by yeshomeclass on
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Task achievement
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the given prompt and provides a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year. Include specific examples to support each point.
Coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but the sequencing of ideas could be improved. Use more transitional phrases to enhance the coherence and flow of the essay.
Lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses appropriate academic language. To enhance the lexical resource, aim for more consistency in using academic and formal vocabulary throughout the essay.
Grammatical range
The essay displays a good command of grammar and varied sentence structures. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use of complex sentences to further enhance the grammatical range.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.