It is more important for the government to spend money on promoting the healthy lifestyle to prevent illness rather than on the treatment of people who are really ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, it is commonly argued that the

government

Use synonyms

should spend money on promoting a healthy lifestyle to prevent illness rather than on the cure. Personally, I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

view and it would be more beneficial to take measures to ensure better public health and prevent illness. First of all, the low percentage of people with

diseases

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like heart attacks, high blood pressure and lung

diseases

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due to

Linking Words

a healthy lifestyle and less pollution.

Besides

Linking Words

that, if the

government

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can improve and use policies to protect the environment, food abuse and the use of tobacco. These things together can certainly improve public health in the long term. The example of Bhutan can support

this

Linking Words

idea more strongly. Bhutan is a carbon-negative country with zero pollution.

As a result

Linking Words

, the people of Bhutan have a greater lifespan compared to many other countries with less presence of disease.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, having a healthy lifestyle can help

their

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

financially.

However

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

can eventually cut down on treatment and medicine budgets if they can prevent

diseases

Use synonyms

in the first place and use that money to improve the environment and promote

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health style to everyone.

For example

Linking Words

, to treat

diseases

Use synonyms

of cancer can be very expensive and take a long time to treat, which greatly affects people’s lives if they are workers. In conclusion, I will emphasize the fact that the

government

Use synonyms

should focus more on preventing illness as in the long run, it will ensure a healthy nation, less pressure on the healthcare system and reduce the cost of medicines.

yeshomeclassTue Jan 02 2024

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Task Achievement

It is important that each paragraph has a clear central theme that is expanded upon with appropriate explanations or examples. Some of your paragraphs could benefit from more detailed support and development of the ideas presented.

Task Achievement

Ensure that you have a clear thesis statement in your introduction and restatement in your conclusion, as it helps to maintain a clear position throughout the essay. Your introduction and conclusion are well presented, which aids in the logical progression of your ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

Aim to produce a well-organized essay with clear, logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences to build coherence. While your essay demonstrates good structure, slight improvements can be made in linking ideas more seamlessly.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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It is more important for the government to spend money on promoting the healthy lifestyle to prevent illness rather than on the treatment of people who are really ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say cheap air travel is good because it enables ordinary people to travel, while others think that it is bad for the environment. Discuss and give your opinion.

If old people are no longer physically, mentally or financially able to look after themselves, younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting them.

Some people think that student benefits from going to private secondary schools. Others, however, feel that private schools can have a negative effect on society as a whole. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?