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Writing Samples
Band 8

Now more than ever, people are aware of the importance of good health. Unfortunately, many have poor lifestyle habits that are difficult to break. It is crucial for people to adopt better physical and dietary routines if they expect to improve their health. Which of the following do you think is the best way to stay in good health? - Participating in group sports - Learning how to cook healthy meals - Joining a gym and following a strict exercise routine

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Nowadays, there are many people who pay a great deal of attention to their health.
Although
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 many of them pursue an unbalanced lifestyle, it is vital to have healthier habits in terms of their food and activities. So, there are different ways
such
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 as taking part in team sports, using healthy recipes, and pursuing a strict workout plan at a gym. In my opinion, the first item is more effective in keeping the body healthy. When it comes to fitness and health, various strategies regarding meals and activities can be adopted. First of all, how people eat and its quality should be addressed. In
this
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 regard, physicians always warn individuals who do not pursue a balanced diet.
For example
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,
according to
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 the Iranian healthcare ministry, one-third of the Iranian young are suffering from obesity
due to
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 fast food consumption.
Therefore
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, one of the best ways to maintain fit is learning how to cook beneficial meals.
Secondly
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, people can go to a gym to receive a regular workout plan from a professional. It would be effective in raising body strength and keeping an individual in good shape.
Furthermore
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, athletes can remain motivated under supervisor monitoring. As far as I am concerned, enrolling in sports which are held in a team shape is the most significant approach for keeping the body fit. It increases not only physical power but
also
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 enhances the spirit. Based on a report in Press TV, the rate of hope is extremely high in different genders and ages that participate in group activities like soccer. In conclusion, there are various solutions to tackle unhealthy lifestyles and consequent diseases. In my opinion,
although
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 preparing advantageous meals and going to the gym is helpful, exercising with teammates in a squad impacts mental and physical situations simultaneously.

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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear main idea and provides sufficient support. While your points are relevant, make sure to develop them further to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Consider providing a clearer link between your ideas in each paragraph. Transitional phrases could help guide the reader through your reasoning and make your essay flow better.
task achievement
Your introduction sets the context well and introduces the main ideas clearly, which is great for engaging the reader.
task achievement
You've included relevant statistics and examples, such as obesity rates in Iran, which strengthen your argument and provide concrete evidence for your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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