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Band 7

Many people nowadays are concerned about the level of air pollution created by the number of people using air travel. They suggest it may be safer for people to use alternative forms of transportation such as road transport. To what extent do you agree that travel by road may be the safer option?

#people #level #air #pollution #travel #alternative #forms #transportation #road #transport #option
It is believed that the hotly debated topic of the amount of pollution created by the increasing demand for
air
travel
; and transport mediums
such
 as using the street is a safer alternative. I moderately agree with
this
 notion and will be presenting my rationale behind
this
 choice. There is no denying that aeroplanes have changed the way we
travel
; altered the transportation of commercial goods; and accelerated the speed of both the person and the economy. Take business trips as an example, Vietnamese entrepreneurs can now conduct business in Singapore and get back to their nation on the same day thanks to
air
travel
 which is an unimaginable feat compared to 20 years ago. With all the conveniences that travelling by plane has provided us, jet
fuel
 is a big concern for the environment because of all the pollution both from creating
fuel
 and the process of using the
fuel
.
As a result
, some are proposing the increased usage of road transportation. I argue that road transportation
also
 exhibited hazards similar to travelling by
air
 in terms of traffic accidents. Another essential point to add is most vehicles
also
 use petrol as
fuel
 and exhaust pollutants. Some argue that electric cars are more environmentally friendly but it is observed that the process of making the lithium battery for electric vehicles creates toxic gases and potentially does more harm to the environment than making petrol. So the solution is coming up with an alternative that can both sustain
air
travel
 and not harm the environment. In conclusion, decreasing
air
travel
 and using the road as a main platform of transport is not ideal because it doesn't change the impact on the pollution dilemma and needs to consider another solution
such
 as finding a more sustainable source of energy.
Submitted by tu.diepminh on

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Task Response
Provide a more direct answer to the question as opposed to presenting a moderate stance
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay structure is generally well-organized with clear introduction and conclusion, but some parts of the essay lack coherence in the logical development of ideas

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Environmental pollution
  • Emissions
  • Greenhouse gases
  • Safety records
  • Accident rates
  • Fatalities
  • Infrastructure
  • Congestion
  • Maintenance
  • Economic implications
  • Feasibility
  • Practicality
  • Convenience
  • Alternative forms of transportation
  • Fuel consumption
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