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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that it is a waste of time for school students to study nature. To What extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #waste #time #school #students #study #nature
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Nature
Use synonyms
 is an indispensable part of human daily life,
thus
Linking Words
 it is the main subject in a large number of countries.
However
Linking Words
, there are strong arguments in the public against studying the natural environment, mostly based on the thought that spending
time
Use synonyms
 studying
nature
Use synonyms
 is wasteful.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the need for enhancing the knowledge of the natural environment has significantly declined for years. An obvious reason is that students have to learn many other subjects at school, which results in a reduction of necessary
time
Use synonyms
 for studying and reviewing
nature
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.
In addition
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, many people believe in a false assumption that the environment is familiar around them and there is no point in studying something that they have experienced since they were born. In my opinion,
nature
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 has been an integral part of humanity in the entire evolution of the human species. Learning about
nature
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 provides insights into the relationship between species and many important events which occurred a long
time
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 ago that shape our lives today. From
this
Linking Words
 knowledge, many challenges can be solved.
For example
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, there was once a
time
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 when the average temperature on the globe
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 much higher than the current average temperature.
By discovering
Change preposition
Discovering
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 how
nature
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 reacts and adapts to
this
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 unusual incident at that
time
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can potentially help us to tackle the problem of global warming. Another reason to counter the opponents of studying
nature
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 is that we still do not know much about it.
Although
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 humans have achieved many breakthroughs in understanding how
nature
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 works, they still have to face many unanswered questions. They just know little of the total species on the earth and even many parts of themselves are still a mystery.
Consequently
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, explorations into the unknown are extremely essential for
further
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 understanding of our natural world and humans themselves, which requires considerable
time
Use synonyms
 for studying. In conclusion, I completely disagree with the idea
to stop
Change preposition
of stopping
show examples
 learning about
nature
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 and schools must encourage students to take
nature
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 into account more seriously.
Submitted by nguyenhoanghadl on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, further enhance logical transitions between ideas and paragraphs for an even smoother flow.
Task Achievement
Consider providing a more diverse range of examples for your arguments to illustrate points with increased depth.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and a strong conclusion that reiterates your stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
The main points are well supported with logical reasoning and examples.
Task Achievement
You effectively address the prompt and provide a comprehensive response to the statement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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