Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #activities #children’s #development #computer #games

With the advent of technology, many parents started to be concerned about whether taking

children

to outside

activities

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

be the best way for

kids

' development or just letting them play computer

games

. Many people think that

kids

doing outdoor

activities

might have a good influence on them, rather than playing video

games

. I fully agree with

this

notion and

this

essay will try to outline the advantages of under-cloud

activities

. From my point of view, when we say outdoor

activities

for

children

we comprehend playing, walking,

camping

Correct word choice

and camping

show examples

to name just a few. These indicated

activities

might have a great impact on their life. Saying thoroughly, every activity has its own vital pros and by doing these kinds of

activities

youngsters not only can learn new, useful things

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

it can help offspring to decide what they are willing to do in future in terms of profession.

For instance

, at an early age, when there were rare smart devices

such

as mobile phones, computers and so on, my only entertainment was going out and playing

games

with my peers. After a couple of years, I understood that I had talent and gifted skills on the football field, so I started to train professionally.

Moreover

kids

who camp can learn lots of stuff from nature. To be more clear, it allows them to be close to nature and comprehend how crucial the role of nature is and why maintaining it is important.

Thus

children

become more intelligent.

Furthermore

, as we know by playing computer

games

children

not only hurt their eyes but

also

can become more aggressive and nervous,

while

outdoor

activities

might boost

kids

' moods and provide them with excellent and memorable memories.

Hence

, they will have a better childhood with memorable moments. Taking everything into account, offspring might benefit in various ways by having only outdoor

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

. They can make new friends, enjoy their childhood time and learn scores of important things in diverse aspects.

Also

, having good and pleasant memories, when they become teenagers.

Submitted by alex.martirosyan201206 on Sun Dec 24 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure that the essay has a clear introductory paragraph, with a thesis statement, followed by body paragraphs each presenting a central idea supported by specific examples, and rounded off with a concluding paragraph that summarizes the main points and restates your position.

logical structure

Organize ideas clearly, making use of paragraphing. Link ideas with cohesive devices and transitions, while avoiding over-reliance on certain linking words.

supported main points

Develop main ideas with specific details and examples, but avoid general statements without clear substantiation. Make sure each paragraph elaborates on a single idea clearly related to your viewpoint.

complete response

Ensure your essay directly responds to the task with a clear opinion. Support your opinion with a full explanation of your viewpoints, including where applicable, specific examples.

clear comprehensive ideas

Present ideas completely and clearly, ensuring they contribute directly to expressing your view on the topic. Avoid repetition and any ambiguity regarding your stance and argumentation.

relevant specific examples

Provide relevant and specific examples that clearly support your arguments. These examples should be detailed enough to substantiate your viewpoint and convey a full understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

337 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays, families are not as close as they used to be What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to make family close?

Online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, people are able to use the internet to do an increasing number of tasks. Is this a positive or negative development?

Most employers do job interviews before offering a position to a person. Do you think this is the best way to do it, or are there better alternatives? What is the best method of choosing employees in your opinion?