Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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With the advent of technology, many parents started to be concerned about whether taking
children
to outside
activities
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
be the best way for
kids
' development or just letting them play computer
games
. Many people think that
kids
doing outdoor
activities
might have a good influence on them, rather than playing video
games
. I fully agree with
this
notion and
this
essay will try to outline the advantages of under-cloud
activities
. From my point of view, when we say outdoor
activities
for
children
we comprehend playing, walking,
camping
Correct word choice
and camping
show examples
to name just a few. These indicated
activities
might have a great impact on their life. Saying thoroughly, every activity has its own vital pros and by doing these kinds of
activities
youngsters not only can learn new, useful things
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
it can help offspring to decide what they are willing to do in future in terms of profession.
For instance
, at an early age, when there were rare smart devices
such
as mobile phones, computers and so on, my only entertainment was going out and playing
games
with my peers. After a couple of years, I understood that I had talent and gifted skills on the football field, so I started to train professionally.
Moreover
,
kids
who camp can learn lots of stuff from nature. To be more clear, it allows them to be close to nature and comprehend how crucial the role of nature is and why maintaining it is important.
Thus
,
children
become more intelligent.
Furthermore
, as we know by playing computer
games
children
not only hurt their eyes but
also
can become more aggressive and nervous,
while
outdoor
activities
might boost
kids
' moods and provide them with excellent and memorable memories.
Hence
, they will have a better childhood with memorable moments. Taking everything into account, offspring might benefit in various ways by having only outdoor
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
. They can make new friends, enjoy their childhood time and learn scores of important things in diverse aspects.
Also
, having good and pleasant memories, when they become teenagers.
Submitted by alex.martirosyan201206 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the essay has a clear introductory paragraph, with a thesis statement, followed by body paragraphs each presenting a central idea supported by specific examples, and rounded off with a concluding paragraph that summarizes the main points and restates your position.
logical structure
Organize ideas clearly, making use of paragraphing. Link ideas with cohesive devices and transitions, while avoiding over-reliance on certain linking words.
supported main points
Develop main ideas with specific details and examples, but avoid general statements without clear substantiation. Make sure each paragraph elaborates on a single idea clearly related to your viewpoint.
complete response
Ensure your essay directly responds to the task with a clear opinion. Support your opinion with a full explanation of your viewpoints, including where applicable, specific examples.
clear comprehensive ideas
Present ideas completely and clearly, ensuring they contribute directly to expressing your view on the topic. Avoid repetition and any ambiguity regarding your stance and argumentation.
relevant specific examples
Provide relevant and specific examples that clearly support your arguments. These examples should be detailed enough to substantiate your viewpoint and convey a full understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical development
  • Overall health
  • Coordination
  • Foster
  • Social skills
  • Teamwork
  • Mental well-being
  • Creativity
  • Exploration
  • Strategic thinking
  • Problem-solving
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Sedentary lifestyles
  • Social isolation
  • Moderation
  • Balanced approach
  • Detract
  • Obesity
  • Poor posture
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