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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It was common in the past for people to retire at 60. Now more and more people are choosing to continue working past the official retirement age, with some countries even increasing the official age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree with this change? Why?

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It is a general trend to
work
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 even after the
age
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 of
retirement
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 these days. It has become so common that companies are officially changing the
retirement
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age
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 and extending it. There are multiple factors favouring
this
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 change
such
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 as easiness of
work
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due to
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 advancements in technology, physical and mental well-being in old
age
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, fewer health issues, and financial freedom. I agree with
this
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 incoming change
due to
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 these favouring factors. In the older days, most of the
work
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 done was physical and tiring, and
hence
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people
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 tend to retire at the
age
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 of 60 to take a rest from their hard
work
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.
Whereas
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 nowadays, most of the
work
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 is done on computers and technology has made the
work
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 easier.
Therefore
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,
people
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 can continue working in their old
age
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 with ease.
For instance
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, most of the human resources and administration-related
work
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 can be easily carried out by sitting in one place on a computer, it just requires experience in that field. Another important factor that supports
this
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 trend is that
people
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 try to remain healthy in their old
age
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. By continuing to
work
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, they can remain physically and mentally active and
hence
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 diseases will remain away from them. Not only health perspective but economically they become independent in their old
age
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. As they continue to earn for a longer duration of their
age
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, they are financially stronger than the rest of the
people
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 who adopt for
retirement
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 at an early stage. In conclusion, retiring at a later stage in life has numerous advantages,
hence
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 a lot of
people
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 and companies are opting for it. I strongly agree with
this
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 concept of increasing the official
age
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 of
retirement
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 in many countries because of the benefits it provides.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • life expectancy
  • economic necessity
  • financial insecurity
  • aging population
  • workforce diversity
  • knowledge transfer
  • cognitive benefits
  • age discrimination
  • physical capability
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