Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development. But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #development #values #phenomenon

It is debatable whether economic

development

empowers society for the good or

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

loosens the attachment of community. Despite the strong opinion stating that spiritual and emotional values will be lost in the rise of the

economy

, I surely believe that within the era of innovation and

development

people

will benefit from it one way or another.

To begin

with, there are tons of opportunities for improvement that come

along with

the growth of the

economy

People

’s lives are enriched through many aspects

such

as education, health, and hospitality.

For instance

, more capital can be invested in building public schools, applying more advanced technologies in treating patients, and upgrading customer services and facilities in the service industry.

Moreover

this

also

means that the funds for cultural conservation will be widened, helping preserve historical places and cultural heritage.

In contrast

, the main reason for the negativity towards economic growth is its consequences of creating materialism and individualism. In order to endure the

development

of the

economy

people

have to work hard to make more money, the more money transactions being made, the greater impact it will have on the

economy

However

this

creates a “9 to 5” working habit which exhausts workers and

also

limits the time for individuals to enjoy social life.

Therefore

, with hard-earned currency,

people

tend to be more selfish with material values and do not want to share with others.

To conclude

, economic

development

furnishes

people

with improvement in many fields and positively affects living standards.

Although

there are some downsides to

this

phenomenon, they would rather be minor inconveniences in

people

’s lives.

Submitted by phamhoangminhthu24 on Thu Sep 14 2023

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task response

Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. However, some areas could be further elaborated to strengthen the argument.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is well-established, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The ideas are well connected and supported with relevant examples. However, some transitions could be improved to enhance coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

standard of living
economic development
social values
materialism
community welfare
sustainable technologies
environmental degradation
social stratification
social cohesion
economic status

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Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development. But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people believe that cigarette smoking has had a negative impact for far too long and the only solution to end ot, is to make cigarettes illegall worldwide. To what extent to you agree or disagree? Give explanations and examples to support your opinion.

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Some people think that hard working and determination are the key factors for being successful in the life, other people feel that other factors are important. Discuss both sides, what is your opinion?

It has often been suggested that the reintroduction of capital punishment would deter the ever increasing rate of serious crime. What is your view? Do you think that capital punishment should be reinstated?