Teenage pregnancy is on the rise in many countries. Why is this? What measures (มาตรการ) are there to tackle (จัดการ) this problem?

#pregnancy #rise #countries #measures

Nowadays, teenage

pregnancy

is indeed an issue

that is

increasing significantly in multiple countries. There are various factors that contribute to

this

phenomenon.

This

essay will discuss why

this

problem has become more prevalent and explore potential solutions to address it. Despite the fact that there are many aspects contributing to teenage

pregnancy

, one of the main reasons is a lack of

education

. When young people do not receive proper

education

about sexual health, birth control, and the potential consequences of early

pregnancy

, they are more likely to engage in risky sexual behaviour.

This

knowledge gap increases their vulnerability and decreases their ability to make informed decisions about their sexual well-being. To address and solve the problem, there are various actions that can be taken, with the government can play a pivotal role in

this

solution.

Firstly

, the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

can implement policies that make it mandatory for schools to provide comprehensive

education

on sexual health.

This

ensures that young people receive accurate information.

Additionally

Change preposition

apply

show examples

allocating resources to train teachers in delivering effective sex

education

program

Fix the agreement mistake

programs

show examples

to guarantee that educators are equipped with the necessary knowledge and skills.

Furthermore

, collaboration between

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

, healthcare providers, and community organizations is

also

important. By working together, these groups can combine their efforts and resources to develop comprehensive strategies. In conclusion, teenage

pregnancy

is a complex issue influenced by multiple factors.

However

, a lack of

education

stands out as a significant contributor. To tackle it, the government should actively

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

its role. By addressing the root causes and promoting

education

and support, the rate of teenage

pregnancy

rate will be minimized, thereby encouraging young individuals to take responsibility for their sexual health.

Submitted by nnatthinee on Fri Apr 12 2024

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Task Achievement

To further enhance your essay, try to incorporate a wider range of specific examples and real-world case studies. This will provide more concrete evidence to support your arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

Consider using a wider variety of linking phrases to improve the flow of your essay. While your logic and structure are strong, more diverse transitions can enhance readability and coherence.

Introduction

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, offering clear insight into what will be addressed.

Task Achievement

The essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt, covering both why teenage pregnancy is on the rise and potential measures to tackle it.

Logical Structure

You've maintained a logical structure throughout the essay, which makes it easy for readers to follow your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Teenage pregnancy is on the rise in many countries. Why is this? What measures (มาตรการ) are there to tackle (จัดการ) this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Your local newspaper had an advertisement asking people to help with environmental projects in your area. Write a letter to the project manager to offer your help. Describe a local environmental issue Explain how you can help Suggest how to avoid the problem in future

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvatages?

Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions of this issue?

Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals form dying out, while others say we should concentrate more on problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is a problem today that copyright materials such as music, films and books are freely available on the internet with the result that the owners of the works lose money. Do you feel that this is a good or bad thing?