The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada students from 1992 to 2007.

The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada students from 1992 to 2007.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph gives information about how many male and female students graduated from Canadian universities between 1992 and 2007. Despite, the
overall
Linking Words
rise in
number
Use synonyms
was not steady, the trends for male and female students were similar.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the gap between them widened over the period as more women than men graduated.
Graduates
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
rose during the 15 years and reached their highest levels in 2007, but there were always more female than male
graduates
Use synonyms
. In 1992, the difference was less marked, with just over 70,000 males and about 100,000 females.
However
Linking Words
, by 2007 there had been more significant growth in female
numbers
Use synonyms
. That year, they rose to 147,000, compared to just 95,000 males.
Thus
Linking Words
the gap between the
number
Use synonyms
of male and female
graduates
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
widened. A more detailed look at the graph reveals that the
overall
Linking Words
growth in
numbers
Use synonyms
was not always steady. Between 1992 and 1995, there was a slight increase. That was followed by a period of about five years, when
numbers
Use synonyms
fell,
then
Linking Words
flattened out at just over 70,000 for men and 100,000 for women. After 2000,
however
Linking Words
, graduate
numbers
Use synonyms
saw their strongest growth rate, and
this
Linking Words
was well above the increases that had been seen in the early 1990s. Clearly, there were similar trends for male and female
graduates
Use synonyms
over
this
Linking Words
period, but the
number
Use synonyms
of women graduating increased at a higher rate than the
number
Use synonyms
of men.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, overall".
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, graduates, numbers with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: