IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to have drivers tested every year. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some individuals argue that the most effective method to enhance road safety is to have drivers tested each term. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the given statement, and I will elaborate on it in
this
Linking Words
 essay. On the one hand, today, our automobile industries have developed; everyone can buy an auto, but we must pass the driver's licence test
thus
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, the many cars on the roads
also
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, accident rates are increasing.
For example
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, in South Korea, the majority of aged communities still drive cars on the street but their cognitive skills are falling down
as well as
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 reflexes so it is a serious problem in society. Some old folks forget the pedal position and accidentally push the wrong pedal;
hence
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, some people die because of that. So, at least aged communities should take the test each year which will reduce traffic calamities.
Furthermore
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, nowadays, most drivers are 20~50 years old so, they do not need to take the analysis at each stage.
However
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, some young individuals drink alcohol and drive a car, which causes big car accidents.
For instance
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, in South Korea, many young communities have auto incidents especially when they are drunk
thus
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, approximately 30% of innocent folks die on the road, which is a tragic situation.
For
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this
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 reason, young people
also
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 take tests every period, and if we find a drunken driving crime, we must cancel their driver's licence.
This
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 reduces automobile accidents, and our roads are much safer. In conclusion, I completely agree with
this
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 topic. Because of the rising number of old people, car accidents are increasing
conversely
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 young folks
also
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 have some problems. So, we should modify our laws and take the test every year which leads to making our societies much safer.

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Structure
Continue to structure your essays with a clear introduction, detailed body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion. This effective structure aids in presenting your argument coherently.
Examples
Keep providing specific examples to support your main points as this strengthens your argument and makes it more persuasive to the reader.
Vocabulary
Consider exploring a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas even more precisely. This can further enhance the quality of your essay.
Grammar
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors that do not hinder the overall comprehensibility of the essay, but refining these can make your writing even more polished.
Structure
You have effectively used a clear structure to present your argument, aiding in the essay's overall coherence.
Examples
You have provided relevant, specific examples to support your argument, enhancing the essay's persuasive quality.
Task Response
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task, fully addressing the prompt with a well-developed argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic regulations
  • urban development
  • diminishing driving skills
  • reaction times
  • deteriorating vision
  • complacency
  • infrastructure
  • logistical implications
  • investment
  • administrative processes
  • refresher courses
  • enforcement
  • safe driving campaigns
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