IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows one way of manufacturing ceramic pots.

The diagram below shows one way of manufacturing ceramic pots.
The flow chart provides a comprehensive overview of how to manufacture ceramic
pots
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are three main stages of producing
ceramics
Change the noun form
ceramic
show examples
pots
Use synonyms
. Begin with
preparation
Add an article
the preparation
show examples
 of
clay
Use synonyms
, production, and
finally
Linking Words
 colouring
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 displayed in the process.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, In
preparation
Add an article
the preparation
show examples
 stage,
clay
Use synonyms
 as raw materials are picked by
excavator
Correct article usage
the excavator
show examples
 and moved to the
plan
Correct your spelling
plane
show examples
 by truck.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
clay
Use synonyms
 is crushed by two parallel
process
Change to a plural noun
processes
show examples
 into small pieces. The next process is to
mixed
Change the verb
mix
show examples
 the crushed feed with
additional
Add an article
an additional
show examples
 ingredient, water in the cylinder thing. The output product of
mixer
Correct article usage
the mixer
show examples
then
Linking Words
 is moulded
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the specific box and dried
around
Change preposition
for around
show examples
 4-8 hours.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
clay
Use synonyms
 is assembled from the mould box to make
way
Add an article
the way
a way
show examples
Change preposition
for
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the heating of
clay
Use synonyms
pots
Use synonyms
 in
Correct article usage
an oven
show examples
oven
Correct article usage
an oven
show examples
 with
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
 temperature accounted for 1000
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
. Dried
clay
Use synonyms
pots
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 coloured
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 blue paint and fired in the box before they are ready to distribute to outlets.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words pots, clay with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing
  • ceramic pots
  • preparation
  • material
  • purifying
  • consistency
  • shaping
  • potter's wheel
  • molded
  • drying
  • baking
  • kiln
  • decorating
  • painting
  • glazing
  • engraving
  • quality check
  • packaging
  • distribution
What to do next:
Look at other essays: