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Band 6.5

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
Some people argue that it is the responsibility of
parents
 to instruct their
children
 on how to become valuable contributors to
society
,
while
 others are of the opinion that school is a more suitable place to learn
this
.
This
 essay will discuss both viewpoints
,
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apply
show examples
 and personally, I support the latter opinion.
To begin
 with, it is certainly true that
parents
 are obligated to teach their
children
 about good behaviour.
This
 is because
children
 cannot judge themselves about what is correct and what is incorrect.
Parents
 educate their
children
 on minimum human rules,
for example
, not to steal from others or to be violent.
Therefore
, their
parents
 play a significant role in
children
's behaviour or manner as their intimate instructors.
On the other hand
, some individuals believe that there is a limit to how much parental discipline alone can help
children
 gain the experiences they need to live in
society
. In the school, there are a lot of students who have various personalities and perspectives.
Therefore
,
children
 usually notice that what
parents
 have been teaching is not all in
this
 world, and meeting different people gives the knowledge or experiences
children
 need to live in
this
society
. In conclusion,
parents
 provide a crucial education to their
children
,
while
 in schools,
children
 have the opportunity to gain flexible and applied experience and knowledge to be good members of
society
. I agree with the latter view
,
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apply
show examples
 because what they cannot learn from parental discipline alone, they can learn by being involved with many people at school.
Submitted by songcheng619 on

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task response
Ensure clear and precise examples to support the points made, providing more specific and relevant details.
coherence cohesion
Create a more balanced and structured argument, ensuring that ideas flow logically and cohesively throughout the essay. Utilize transition words and phrases to improve the overall cohesion.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used, incorporating more advanced and varied lexical terms to enhance the overall quality of language.
grammatical range
Work on using a wider range of complex grammatical structures, demonstrating more variety in sentence structures and tenses.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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