Some people argue that the government should spend money only on medical care and education but not on theatres or sport stadium.Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #care #education #theatres #sport #stadium

There is a debate about whether the government should allocate funds exclusively to medical

care

and

education

, neglecting

theatres

and

sports

stadiums

. I disagree with

this

viewpoint, as investing in cultural and recreational facilities is vital for the holistic well-being of

society

Firstly

, it is undeniable that medical

care

and

education

are fundamental pillars of any

society

. Robust healthcare systems ensure that citizens are healthy and productive,

while

quality

education

equips individuals with the knowledge and skills necessary for personal and professional growth. These areas are crucial for the

overall

development and stability of a nation.

However

theatres

and

sports

stadiums

play a significant role in enriching the cultural and social fabric of

society

. Cultural institutions like

theatres

promote creativity, critical thinking, and a sense of community. They provide a platform for artistic expression and cultural preservation, which are essential for maintaining a vibrant and diverse

society

Similarly

sports

stadiums

foster physical health, teamwork, and national pride. They serve as venues for community gatherings and recreational activities, contributing to the

overall

happiness and cohesion of the population.

Furthermore

, a balanced approach to government spending is essential for holistic development.

While

medical

care

and

education

address basic needs, cultural and recreational investments enhance the quality of life. Engaging in cultural and sporting activities improves mental health, reduces stress, and fosters social connections.

For instance

, attending a theatre performance or a

sports

event can provide a much-needed break from daily routines, offering relaxation and enjoyment. In conclusion,

while

medical

care

and

education

are undeniably important, the government should

also

invest in

theatres

and

sports

stadiums

to promote a well-rounded and thriving

society

. A balanced allocation of funds ensures that all aspects of human well-being are addressed, leading to a healthier, happier, and more cohesive community.

Submitted by eparfenenkov on Thu Jul 04 2024

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task achievement

To further strengthen your task response, incorporate more specific examples and statistics to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and grounded.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While your essay is generally cohesive, a few more transitional phrases would enhance the flow.

coherence cohesion

You provided a well-structured response with a clear introduction and conclusion, which greatly aids in understanding your argument.

task achievement

Your writing clearly outlines why both medical care and education, as well as cultural and recreational facilities, are important, providing a balanced perspective on the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people argue that the government should spend money only on medical care and education but not on theatres or sport stadium.Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that increasing tax on various industries will reduce pollution whereas others believe that there are better ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many countries have the same shops and products. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

The diagram below shoes the process of using water to produce electricity.

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