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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be a good member of the society .Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion..

#people #parents #children #member #society #school #place
In today's world, different people have different opinions in regard to who is responsible for teaching social manners to a
child
. Many say it is the school's responsibility
while
 others oppose it. In my point of view, I believe it is the parent's responsibility. Generally
parents
 are the first mentors for incorporating a
child
’s role in society .As the
child
 spends most of his time with his
parents
, he has good communication and a better understanding of his roles and responsibilities.
Parents
 are usually strict
while
 teaching social duties and
hence
 the
child
 is bound to obey them.
In addition
 to that, he
also
 admires his
parents
 as his role model.
For instance
, the majority of
children
 look up to their father as a superhero and tend to copy his activities in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Thus
,
children
 imitate the acts performed by their
parents
.
On the contrary
, full-time working
parents
 believe that it is
Correct article usage
the schools
show examples
schools
Change noun form
schools'
school's
show examples
 responsibility to train
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children in
show examples
 social values as they are busy. A school is a place where the
child
 learns all kinds of activities including being a good member of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the teachers know how to make learning fun, they plan activities that teach moral well-being in a way, that attracts
children
 to play
as well as
 learn.
For example
,teachers teach
children
 to be friendly,
supportive
Correct word choice
and supportive
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 other class To sum it up, I believe that
children
 are more connected to their
parents
 and learn faster by seeing them do their part for society.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 teachers do train youngsters to be socially responsible, yet, they cannot be held liable for their characters.
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement in terms of clarity and relevance. There are some logical flaws in the structure of the essay.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task but lacks clarity and comprehensive ideas. The examples provided are somewhat relevant but need further development.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • role models
  • moral values
  • social norms
  • structured environment
  • cooperation
  • respect
  • communal responsibilities
  • decision-making
  • societal integration
  • consistent messages
  • cultural expectations
  • complementary roles
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