Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is believed that melody is a suitable method for connecting communities of different cultures. In
this
essay, I discuss the reasons for Linking Words
this
belief, and Linking Words
then
I express my opinion. To start with, the cultural identity of an association is known by its opera. Each country owns its specific piece style. Linking Words
For example
, African folk are known for their local rap. They use their specific musical instruments including flute and drum. Some countries use string instruments Linking Words
such
as guitars and violins. The background of their culture is represented by their rock. Linking Words
Therefore
, different countries show their culture through their traditional singing. As the soul affects the thoughts and feelings of humankind, it provides a thinking route for civilization. Linking Words
Accordingly
, listening to the music of Linking Words
nations
is a way of getting familiar with the literature and culture of that humanity. Use synonyms
Secondly
, the beliefs and values of a public are shared among the public of that community who listen to them. Linking Words
For example
, when we listen to Turkish instruments we connect to the traditional tune of Turkey which was played by musicians hundreds of years ago. Surely, they represented their thoughts and beliefs through rap. Linking Words
Thirdly
, the music of a nation has provided an opportunity for its cultural survival. Linking Words
While
the music of a country is played, the nation of that country survives. As populations have different interests, different ages have different tastes in song. Linking Words
However
, rock and roll may provide a connection between different ages. Linking Words
To sum up
, I completely agree with the opinion that jazz can connect the public of different cultures and ages together. Linking Words
Hence
, I suggest providing more suitable situations for all Linking Words
nations
to listen to the singing of all Use synonyms
nations
to provide a suitable situation to respect different Use synonyms
nations
and bring them out of isolation.Use synonyms
Submitted by nasringoli.psycolohist on
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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates an acceptable level of coherence and cohesion, but it could benefit from clearer transitions and more logical progression of ideas. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that each sentence logically follows from the one before it. Use transition words to guide the reader through the arguments.
task achievement
There is a reasonable attempt to address the question, however, the response lacks depth in exploring how music connects people across cultures and ages. Strengthen your argument by giving more specific examples and explanations that illustrate the point. For instance, discuss international music festivals or events where people come together, and provide actual examples of music bridging cultural gaps.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion