In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.
Recently, the improvement in medical technology helped to cure the must-die disease to save lives, leading to a stretch in the average
life
expectancy
of the population. Therefore
, it raises urgent changes in society
which have both upsides and downsides in the society
. However
, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Commonly, longer life
expectancy
is the actual state in the population that brings countless happiness and benefits for family and society
. One of the most positive points is that people have more time for family to raise their children and enjoy their life
. For example
, some people would like to travel with their partner on over the world after a lifetime of hard work.
On the downside, the increase in life
expectancy
causes many consequences. The major problem is the increase of patients who suffer from the weakness of the immune system as age leads to a burden on the medical system. The hospital overload situation is quite common in the world even in developed countries reservations must be made months in advance. For instance
, a lack of doctors and nurses in the hospitals in Japan devised to rent the medical staff from the outside. Moreover
, the treatment cannot be punctual and adequate in that overload situation. Another obvious negative is the effect on the balance of the economy. The age distribution of the workforce is biased to the right side, owing to stretching the retirement age. It leads to a gerontocracy problem, the elderly hold higher positions in the organization and don’t have opportunities for the young. In addition
, a huge part of the company's finances is used to pay the elderly while
the young's salaries are too low.
In summary, although
there are several problems that are generated by the increase in average life
expectancy
, these challenges will be easy to overcome if society
works together to solve them, eventually, happiness spreads all over the world.Submitted by hkhuynh1011 on
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task achievement
Work on providing a more clear introduction by stating the topic and briefly outlining the main points of discussion without stating personal opinion.
task achievement
Ensure that your conclusion is clearly differentiated from the main body, summarizing the key points before presenting your personal viewpoint.
task achievement
Include more precise and varied examples to support each advantage and disadvantage point; this will help make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure by ensuring clear paragraphing where each paragraph contains one clear main idea with supporting sentences.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to help the reader clearly understand the relationship between ideas and to improve flow throughout the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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