IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodworking should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family. To that extent do you agree or disagree?

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Experts throughout the world have debated on the academics of
students
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 and some people argue that educational institutes should focus only on formal education and success
instead
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 of practical
skills
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 which can be learned from parents.
However
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, I personally consider that
due to
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 a variety of career opportunities
as well as
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 the need to balance
stress
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 levels,
skills
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 like dressmaking, cookery and woodworking should be taught in learning institutes. To commence with, schools should teach practical
skills
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, because some
students
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 may not have access to free time for the family or sometimes they might have less experience in teaching.
Additionally
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, teaching
skills
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 at schools help children develop their personal interests and creativity,
subsequently
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 giving them the opportunity to choose their careers in various fields. In simple words,
students
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 who do not excel academically can still explore their goals in different sectors.
For example
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, Gurkirat Singh, the winner of Masterchef India, used to be an average student but after discovering interest in cooking
at
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during
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 school years, made him
pursue
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pursued
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 that career to achieve success.
Furthermore
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, in the context of
stress
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 management, focusing exclusively on exam preparation brings high levels of
stress
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 among scholars.
In other words
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, to gain more success, scholars burn candles on both ends ,which makes them feel anxious or stressed.
Nevertheless
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, non-academic
skills
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 act as
stress
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 relievers and encourage them to maintain a healthy balance.
For instance
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, in Canada, many colleges require
students
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 to take a life-learning subject as part of their course, to give them a break from the pressures of academics. In a nutshell, real-world
skills
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 emphasise personality by tracing talent and personal interests
as well as
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 creating a balance in their lifestyles.
In addition
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, in order to seek
skills
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, educational institutions should be considered, because of a holistic education approach rather than parents who are less experienced teachers and their availability.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Consider structuring your essay with clear paragraphs for each major point, which will improve the logical flow and help convey your arguments more effectively.
Task Achievement
Try to expand on your examples further to provide more depth and link them directly to your main points.
Introduction
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and provides a stance, setting a strong foundation for the essay.
Conclusion
The essay concludes with a concise summary that reinforces the argument, providing a satisfying sense of closure.
Supporting Examples
The use of examples, such as Gurkirat Singh's success, effectively illustrates the point about the value of non-academic skills.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Holistic education
  • Well-rounded education
  • Practical life skills
  • Foster creativity
  • Problem-solving abilities
  • Socio-economic gaps
  • Stress relief
  • Balanced lifestyle
  • Educational readiness
  • Career readiness
  • Job market
  • Versatile
  • Engagement
  • Motivation
  • Cultural development
  • Personal growth
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