In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. What is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development

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These days, businesses claim that their goods are different and unique as compared to others. In my opinion, making a great deal of money and people’s requests are the reasons for

this

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trend. I am

also

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convinced that it has its own drawbacks

such

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as economic and environmental consequences. It is my view that business managers are striving to make remarkable progress in their occupations.

Hence

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, eye-catching advertisements which are able to manipulate their audiences are more successful at achieving managers their financial goals.

Such

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advertisements that emphasise being novel can draw customers’ attention and make considerable profits for their owners.

On the other hand

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, with tremendous technological advancements worldwide, customers are in search of brand-new things to fulfil their expectations.

Therefore

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, markets are encouraged to produce goods which align with their customers’ preferences.

For example

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, Apple Company is updating their products on a regular basis to stay in the competition cycle. I

further

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believe that

this

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trend has some disadvantages.

Firstly

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, people can be convinced to buy things which they do not really need.

This

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may result in the development of a consumerism culture that has negative effects on the environment and society. Many people who live in deprived areas find it difficult to purchase

such

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new products

due to

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financial difficulties.

As a result

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, they may encounter mental problems

such

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as depression in the long run.

Moreover

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, consumerism can cause major problems for the environment.

For instance

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, waste disposal may turn into a serious problem for governments. In conclusion, in my view, monetary targets and the customers’ requirements are the main causes of advertising something new. From my perspective,

this

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notion can be detrimental in terms of socioeconomic and environmental issues.

Submitted by maryam.nutrition1988 on Sat Apr 13 2024

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Overall Language Use

To improve your score further, consider varying your sentence structures more significantly and incorporating a wider range of vocabulary that is pertinent to the topic at hand. This will enhance the sophistication of your argument and make your essay even more engaging.

Task Achievement

Make sure to support your main points with more detailed examples. While you've provided relevant examples, such as mentioning Apple Company, elaborating on these examples with more depth and specifics can strongly bolster your argument and make your point more convincing.

Coherence & Cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, try to more explicitly link your ideas between paragraphs. This can be achieved through clearer and more direct transition phrases that explicitly connect your points.

Structure

You effectively introduced and concluded your essay, providing clear insight into your perspective on the issue.

Task Response

You've successfully addressed the task, providing logical arguments for both sides of the development and expressing a clear opinion.

Coherence

Your essay maintains a good logical flow, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific aspect of the topic.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

emphasise
advertising
products
innovation
competitive strategy
consumer dissatisfaction
value

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In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. What is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

While social media platforms can have their benefits, using them too much can make you feel increasingly unhappy and decrease your self-esteem in the long run. Discuss with examples

With increasing popularity of online learning, some people believe that traditional classroom education will become obsolete. Do you agree? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both online and traditional learning methods.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

It is better for people to have a fixed work schedule than to have a flexible one. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.